[responding.to.resistance]
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ROAD BLOCKS AND RESPONSES: RESPONDING TO RESISTANCE FROM TEACHERS,
ADMINISTRATORS, STUDENTS, AND THE COMMUNITY
by Warren J. Blumenfeld and Laurie Lindop
Issues facing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students
and staff have largely been ignored or pushed aside in the schools.
There are numerous social taboos surrounding issues of sexuality and
LGBT issues in particular. Bringing these issues into the spotlight may
make some people anxious. Myths may replace facts, fears may overshadow
professional responsibility.
This paper looks at some of the most commonly expressed concerns and how
to address them. Also included are some strategies you can use if you do
encounter resistance.
ESTABLISHING A SUPPORT NETWORK
It is important to establish a broad-based support network to help
educate people that this work is about keeping students safe. The
following section provides strategies you can use to establish a support
network and use your allies to not only help individual students, but
also to build a consensus in your community and school that this work is
important and should go forward. Having a strong, active support network
will ensure that if, at some point, you do encounter resistance, you
will have a foundation of support and understanding from members of the
student body, the faculty, the administration, and the community.
A good starting point is to develop a personal support system, people
who can help you locate and access community and school-based resources,
and of extreme importance, people to whom you can turn for emotional
support and comfort.
The broader the coalition you build of people supporting your work, the
more effective it will eventually be in making your school safer for all
students. This is true, partly because people tend to be influenced most
by others who are like themselves. For example, students will listen to
other students, administrators will trust the opinions and experiences
of other administrators, parents will sympathize with other parents,
teachers will listen to the experiences of other teachers. Reaching out
to a broad cross-section of members of your school and community will
help disseminate the information. Further, having a broad range of
support, also means having a broad range of perspectives and
experiences. This is the foundation on which a vision of inclusion is
truly built, a vision which foresees a school that is safe for all
students, that roots out all forms of oppression. Therefore, emphasize
to your allies that their decision to tackle the issues facing GLBT
students is an indication of their personal courage and compassion, and
one more thing they are doing to ensure the safely of all students.
HOW HOMOPHOBIA HURTS EVERYONE
(The following section comprises the theoretical foundation of the book
HOMOPHOBIA: HOW WE ALL PAY THE PRICE, edited by Warren J. Blumenfeld,
Beacon Press, 1992.)
Within the numerous forms of oppression, members of the target group
(sometimes called minority) are OPPRESSED, while on some level members
of the dominant or agent group are HURT. Although the effects of
oppression differ qualitatively for specific target and agent groups, in
the end everyone loses. By showing how oppression affects both target
(in this instance LGBTs) and dominant group members (heterosexuals), we
underscore the fact that, in important ways, it is indeed in everyone's
self-interest to work to combat oppression. Such a strategy can be used
to encourage those heterosexuals who may be hesitant to confront
homophobia to come on board. Moreover, it may prevent those already
willing to confront homophobia from either engaging in dysfunctional
rescue of LGBTs (inappropriately attempting to fix it) or preventing
heterosexuals from burning out. Listed below are some of the ways that
everyone is hurt by homophobia/heterosexism.
1. Homophobia locks all people into rigid gender-based roles that
inhibit creativity and self expression.
2. Homophobic conditioning compromises the integrity of heterosexual
people by pressuring them to treat others badly, actions contrary to
their basic humanity.
3. Homophobia inhibits ones ability to form close, intimate
relationships with members of ones own sex.
4. Homophobia generally restricts communication with a significant
portion of the population and, more specifically, limits family
relationships.
5. Societal homophobia prevents some lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender (LGBT) people from developing an authentic self identity,
and adds to the pressure to marry, which in turn places undue stress and
oftentimes trauma on themselves as well as their heterosexual spouses
and their children.
6. Homophobia is one cause of premature sexual involvement, which
increases the chances of teen pregnancy and the spread of sexually
transmitted diseases (STDs). Young people, of all sexual identities, are
often pressured to become heterosexually active to prove to themselves
and others that they are normal.
7. Homophobia combined with sexphobia (fear and repulsion of sex)
results in the elimination of any discussion of the lives and sexuality
of LGBT people as part of school-based sex education, keeping vital
information from all students. Such a lack of information can kill
people in the age of AIDS.
8. Homophobia can be used to stigmatize, silence, and, on occasion,
target people who are perceived or defined by others as gay, lesbian, or
bisexual, but who are, in actuality, heterosexual.
9. Homophobia prevents heterosexuals from accepting the benefits and
gifts offered by LGBTs: theoretical insights, social and spiritual
visions and options, contributions in the arts and culture, to religion,
to family life, indeed, to all facets of society.
10. Homophobia (along with racism, sexism, classism, sexphobia, etc.)
inhibits a unified and effective governmental and societal response to
AIDS.
11. Homophobia diverts energy from more constructive endeavors.
12. Homophobia inhibits appreciation of other types of diversity, making
it unsafe for everyone because each person has unique traits not
considered mainstream or dominant. Therefore, we are all diminished when
any one of us is demeaned.
ESTABLISH A STRONG AND ACTIVE SUPPORT NETWORK BY CULTIVATING ALLIANCES.
CONSIDER REACHING OUT TO:
* Other school-based groups interested in civil and human rights issues.
* Supportive faculty, administrators, and staff (guidance counselors,
social workers, nurses, librarians, cafeteria and maintenance staff,
etc.).
* Supportive community individuals and groups such as community-based
LGBT support groups, local PFLAG (Parents, Family, and Friends of
Lesbians and Gays), religious, legal, and business organizations, etc.
* Local colleges with diversity, multicultural, or social justice
programs.
* Other schools in your area that have begun to address these issues.
Once you contact your potential allies, ask them to begin networking
with other people,, educating their friends and colleagues about the
issues facing LGBT students.
Sometimes, people are passively supportive. They may believe that
addressing LGBT student concerns are important, but they do not know how
to express their approbation and they do not know that you need and want
their assistance. It is important to reach out to members of your school
and community, telling them that you want them to join you in coalition,
telling them what they can do to help make your school safer for all
students. These people can help LGBT students, and can also help build
consensus within the school and community that it is important to
address these issues.
Supporters can write letters. Consider soliciting letters of support and
appreciation from a variety of people including students, teachers,
administrators, parents, alumni, influential community members,
politicians, religious leaders, pediatricians, and other health
professionals. These letters can inspire other people to offer their
support and can assure hesitant members of the school administration,
staff, or community that there is already broad-based support for
addressing these issues. If school administrators only hear from a few
but loud voices of opposition, they may think that the community in
general is more resistant to LGBT student safety than it actually is.
SUPPORTERS CAN HELP LGBT STUDENTS IN NUMEROUS OTHER WAYS. HERE ARE A FEW
SUGGESTIONS:
* Communities can hold a public forum on issues effecting these young
people.
* Some communities have Youth Commissions that meet regularly to discuss
a range of issues of concern to youth. They could begin to look at the
problems unique to LGBT youth.
* Communities and schools can create task forces dedicated to addressing
the needs of young LGBTs. (For example, a Superintendents Task Force on
LGBT Students.)
* Stores, restaurants, community groups, and individuals can sponsor
Gay/Straight Alliances providing food for meetings, donating T-shirts,
etc. For example, a local PFLAG chapter donated books for the library at
Cape Cod Technical High School on behalf of their Gay/Straight Alliance.
* Everyone can use inclusive, affirming, and gender-neutral language
when referring to sexuality and human relationships in every-day speech,
on written forms, etc. Say the words lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender each day in a positive way.
* Teachers can incorporate issues relevant to the LGBT experience in the
curricula.
* Volunteer to become a faculty advisor of a Gay/Straight Alliance at
your school.
* Invite the student newspaper on your campus to include articles about
issues effecting LGBT students and about your Gay/Straight Alliance to
increase students understanding of the issues.
* Religious organizations can hold rap groups for LGBT youth, and donate
space for community-based support groups.
* Members of the Parents Teacher Organization and Parent Advisory Board
can address LGBT student safety issues in heir meetings and newsletters.
* Teachers and school staff can establish themselves as allies. Some
teachers have put up stickers in their classrooms that have a pink
triangle and the word ally printed on the front. Other have put up
LGBT-positive posters in their classrooms.
* Everyone can challenge homophobic jokes and epithets.
* Read positive LGBT books and periodicals, and include them in your
school or workplace libraries and offices.
* Be aware of the generalizations you make. Assume there are LGBT people
where you go to school, where you work, in your family, etc.
* Monitor politicians, the media, and organizations to ensure accurate
coverage of LGBT issues.
THE MOST COMMONLY EXPRESSED CONCERNS AND WAYS TO RESPOND
Schools that have already begun to address LGBT student safety, find
that there are a number of concerns that students, teachers,
administrators, parents, and community members raise about their work.
For the most part, the concerns are rooted in misperceptions about what
schools are doing to protect LGBT students. (At times, the opposition
actually perpetuates misinformation and downright lies about LGBT people
and what the schools are doing.) The most commonly raised misperception
is that this work is about sex, that schools are going to be teaching
students about same-sex acts. It is important to explain to people that
addressing these issues is not about sex, but about student safety. (It
is not about homosexuality or bisexuality, it is about homophobia and
biphobia). Explain exactly what your school will be doing, why it is
important, what you hope to accomplish. Use the statistics about LGBT
youth suicide, use testimony from students in your school or in other
schools about anti-gay violence and harassment, use the Governors
Commission Report and the Board of Educations Recommendations on the
Support and Safety of LGBT students to help people see that you will not
be talking about sex per se, but providing support for all students in
your school in creating a safer learning environment.
Another commonly expressed concern is that by addressing these issues,
schools will be promoting or advocating homosexuality. (This concern
sometimes stems from their assumption that We don't have any LGBT people
here.) This concern is rooted in the myth that people only have two
choices on the issues: One, to be silent and ignore LGBT issues and
exclude all discussions of these issues from the schools, or Two, to
promote homosexuality and advocate for LGBT rights. In reality, however,
the real issue is Safety and Inclusion.
To include issues that effect LGBT students in the intellectual and
social life of a school is not to advocate that students become
homosexuals. To work to protect LGBT students from violence, harassment,
and self-hatred is not to promote homosexuality, as it is to promote
understanding. By including these issues in classroom discussions is
simply to acknowledge the truth: That there are LGBT students, that
there are students with LGBT friends, that there are students with LGBT
parents or relatives. Making schools safer for these young people does
not in any way encourage students to become LGBT, nor does it try to
alter anyone's personal, religious, or moral convictions about
homosexuality. It does, however, encourage young people of all sexual
orientations and identities to be comfortable with who they and others
really are.
Finally, the other most commonly expressed concern is that schools
should not be dealing with LGBT issues at all, that it is not part of
their mission or role. It is important to help people understand that
since schools have an obligation to educate all students and to provide
them with a safe learning environment, making schools safe for LGBT
students is part of their role.
What follows are some concrete strategies for getting the backing of
hesitant superintendents, administrators, teachers, students, and
community members as you work to make your school safer for students of
all sexual orientations and identities. Of course, every school and
community is different. What works well in one school may not work in
another. However, hopefully you will find some of these ideas helpful.
RESISTANCE FROM THE ADMINISTRATION, SCHOOL BOARDS, AND OTHER SCHOOL
STAFF
Some school administrators, school board members, and other staff and
faculty have been true leaders in addressing issues of safety for LGBT
students and staff. Others, however, may not share this enthusiasm or be
down-right hostile to your efforts. Many times they have either totally
rejected any proposal, if one needs to be submitted, or have needed to
be convinced of its merits. Many have failed to appreciate the safety
issues involved; others have simply feared the disapproval of community
or other monitoring bodies. Some have not seen homophobia as a form of
prejudice or have been unaware of its existence.
E. Van Seasholes, the principal of Newton South High School, said, If
you don't believe that each and every student deserves our very best
efforts, then you don't belong in teaching. At the Equity for Gay and
Lesbian Students Conference: Progress and Promise in Our School held in
Cambridge, Mass. in 1994, administrators, superintendents, and
principals discussed different strategies groups interested in working
on LGBT issues can implement to get support from their administrators.
The panel suggested that groups emphasize that supporting LGBT students
is simply one more way administrators help all students. They suggested
putting the fight against anti-LGBT prejudice and discrimination into
the context of the schools core values (e.g. fostering an appreciation
of diversity). One can emphasize that providing a safe environment for
LGBT students is integral to providing a safe school environment for all
students and to helping students learn and live in a society filled with
diversity. Finally, they stressed the need to distinguish for
administrators the difference between supporting gay and lesbian youth
and promoting homosexuality.
THE FOLLOWING STRATEGIES MAY BE USEFUL IN OVERCOMING RESISTANCE TO YOU
WORK
* Contact the superintendent or school administrator early in the
process, give them regular updates on the progress of the work, invite
them to planning meetings, and solicit their input directly and as
frequently as possible.
* Give administrators background materials, including the answers to
commonly asked questions/concerns covering LGBT issues to make it easier
for them to respond to concerns addressed to them, and easier for them
to be allies.
* Plan an educational presentation for the School Committee on issues
facing LGBT students. Consider including testimony from students who
have witnessed or have been victimized by homophobic harassment of
violence. Present them with letters of support from students, teachers,
parents, and community members.
* Submit copies of the Governors Commission Report, and Board of
Educations Recommendations on the Support and Safety of Gay and Lesbian
Youth. The Commission report, Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian
Students is filled with information about LGBT youth and explains in
detail why schools must address theses issues.
* Document incidences of anti-LGBT discrimination such as homophobic
slurs and graffiti, etc. If positive changes have occurred, describe
these improvements. Survey students on their attitudes on LGBT issues,
and solicit written testimonies from students detailing the problems
some of them are facing.
* Invite speakers from the Massachusetts Department of Educations Safe
Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students, members of PFLAG (Parents,
Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), other teachers and
administrators, or outside workshop consultants who have had success
addressing the issues in other communities to address your faculty,
administrators and student body.
* Encourage resistant administrators, teachers, and other staff to
attend a Regional Workshop sponsored by the Massachusetts Department of
Educations Safe Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students.
* The second Recommendation issued by the Massachusetts Board of
Education states that Schools are encouraged to offer training to school
personnel in violence and suicide prevention. If students are being
harassed or victimized, school professionals should be equipped with the
knowledge necessary to protect LGBT students from harassment and
violence by other students. Teachers and school personnel should be
trained to intervene effectively when any student is harassed or
threatened by other students. Experienced members of the campus
community or outside consultants can facilitate these workshops.
* Plan a LGBT and S (Straight) study group for teachers to learn more
about homophobia and heterosexism.
* Submit letters of support for your work from community members,
leaders, and organizations, from students, teachers, administrators, and
parents. Ask supporters to telephone and register their support.
* Provide evidence of the success of these programs in other schools in
your area and/or in other parts of the state.
* Relate your interest in dealing with homophobia to other forms of
oppression that are being addressed by your school such as racism,
classism, anti-Semitism, and sexism.
* Let the administration and staff know of possible legal repercussions
of harassment of students on the basis of actual or perceived sexual
orientation. Refer to the new Gay and Lesbian Student Rights Law. Use
statistical and anecdotal information related to anti-LGBT harassment,
violence, homelessness, and increased risk of drop out and suicide. If
necessary, contact a legal advisor.
* Circulate a petition to parents, students, and teachers asking that
the issues be addressed by your school.
* Work and vote for school board members taking pro-LGBT positions.
Some teachers and administrators have expressed difficulty in separating
their personal beliefs about homosexuality and bisexuality from their
professional responsibilities. Educators have a responsibility to teach
all students, including LGBT students. An educator who feels that
homosexuality/bisexuality is morally wrong, must nevertheless not let
this interfere with their professional duties and obligations to all
their students. Remind educators who profess a difficulty with
separating their job from their moral beliefs, that they have, no doubt,
had to do this on other occasions. Most teachers encounter students they
don't particularly like for one reason or another. They have had to put
those feelings aside and this is true, as well, for students whose
sexual orientation/identity makes them uncomfortable.
Also, look at your own feelings on the issue. Homophobia is pervasive
throughout our society, and no one is completely immune from its
corrosive effects, whether that be heterosexual allies or lesbians, gay
males, bisexuals, and transgendered people. Be realistic and try to
acknowledge how you have internalized and have been limited by society's
negative notions of LGBT people. By becoming aware of and acknowledging
your own feelings, you can be better prepared to move forward.
RESISTANCE FROM STUDENTS
Students -- some of whom may be dealing with their own feelings about
relationships, sex, love, and identity in volatile ways -- are likely to
respond energetically to these issues. Many students tend to use the
topic of homophobia as a vehicle to ask all kinds of questions about
sex, probably because there are few avenues available for them to
explore safely this general topic.
There are always some students who express very strong homophobic
feelings. Some of this is the energy of youth as well as bravado
expressed as a means of seeking support from peers. Other students
probably think the very same things, but have been socialized to
submerge some outward expressions of hostile prejudiced beliefs. In both
cases, it is important for students to be able to vent a full range of
emotions within acceptable parameters. Only by airing their gut
reactions can they move into a different level of discussion, which
allows for change. It is also important to note that the absence of
negative reactions does not necessarily indicate the absence of negative
feelings.
Some students might manifest their attitudes in a number of ways --
defensiveness, yelling, name-calling, obstructiveness, arguing, and
withdrawal. Such hostility can be a symptom of a host of emotions such
as anger and fear -- often a result of the negative stereotypes and
other misinformation they have been taught. These issues may strike too
close to home and elicit powerful emotional responses. Sometimes more
sympathetic students will intervene, and a lively dialogue will then
ensue. Sometimes the best thing an educator can do is just to listen.
CLASSROOM GUIDELINES
Before beginning any discussion of homophobia, however, the educator
should set clearly defined limits or guidelines for discussion. These
could include the following:
* All questions and opinions are appropriate to share.
* People need to respect all ideas, with no attacks or blame.
* Speak from personal experience; avoid generalizations; do not attempt
to speak for others; Use I statements.
* Share air time. Take turns speaking; listen respectfully with no
interruptions.
* Respect peoples right not to participate in the discussion.
* Be open to change some of your assumptions or opinions on the topic.
* Anonymity must be respected. People can share information about this
discussion with others outside the class only if class members names and
other identifying characteristics are not used.
Additional Strategies:
* If students are engaging in anti-gay harassment or violence anywhere
on school premises, they should be disciplined in the same way that
students are disciplined for any other hate-motivated act.
* Hang educational posters around campus, to enlighten people about
homophobia.
* Provide school assemblies on the topic of homophobia and other forms
of oppression.
* Organize Diversity Days in which students attend a variety of
workshops dealing with the various forms of oppression (e.g. homophobia,
racism, sexism and sexual harassment, classism, ageism, anti-Semitism,
and others).
* Sometimes, when students call one another homophobic epithets at
school, the educator can use these occasions as educational
opportunities in the classroom to dispel myths and stereotypes, to
provide factual information concerning the historical genesis of these
words, or to incorporate LGBT issue in the context of other forms of
oppression.
* Often, it is appropriate to interrupt a homophobic remark at school or
other places.
NAME IT, CLAIM IT, STOP IT
Kevin Berrill, former Director of the Anti-Violence Project of the
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, and Daryl Cummings-Wilson devised a
three-phase model to empower people in the face of homophobic remarks.
Their method can be used in stopping the whole range of name-calling in
certain school situations and other public settings -- when you hear
anti-LGBT remarks in school hallways, on a bus, in a restaurant, other
general public areas. It is used not necessarily as an educational
opportunity (i.e. teaching another person) as much as it is a way of
maintaining your own integrity in standing up against harassment. It can
be used in situations in which there is low risk to your personal
safety.
The three phases can be summarized as follows: Name It, Claim It, Stop
It. In Phase I, you name the behavior you observe (That is harassment).
In Phase 2, state how it makes you and others feel (I don't like that.
The other members of this class [people in this hallway, other people on
this bus, in this restaurant, on this street] don't like that). In Phase
3, tell what you want to happen (So stop it!). Following this sequence,
you need not get involved in a dialogue or argument. You stated your
concern, and can leave the situation with your integrity in tact.
RESISTANCE FROM PARENTS AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS
Some parents and other community members may genuinely support
discussions related to homophobia and issues affecting LGBT students.
They may support, for example, the formation of a Gay/Straight Alliance
in their school.
Others, however, have organized locally and nationwide to obstruct
these important discussions on campus. There are some strategies to help
lessen this resistance:
* School administrators can use the PTO Newsletter or local media to
inform parents and other community members why your school is addressing
issues affecting LGBT students, how you are doing this, and what you
hope to accomplish. Encourage students to write articles about their
experiences and, if you have conducted a survey on student attitudes,
publish the findings to reinforce the necessity of making your school
safe for student of all sexual orientations.
* Distribute the Massachusetts Governors Commission on Gay and Lesbian
Youth Report Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian Students.
* School administrators can use the Massachusetts Board of Educations
four Recommendations, and the Gay Student Rights Law to back up their
decision to tackle these issues, and show that they are simply trying to
remain in step with the rest of the state, and with the law.
* Survey the student body and publish finding about the level of
tolerance or intolerance in your school newspaper or other widely-read
written materials. * When talking with parents and guardians, and other
community members, avoid responding defensively. Instead, point out the
benefits of these discussions. Assure parents that by addressing these
issues, you are not trying to change or place judgment upon their or the
students moral or ethical beliefs. Rather, in addressing the issue of
homophobia, you are trying to help all students function more
productively in a changing world, while creating a safer learning
environment on campus.
* Present after-school forums on the topic. Invite speakers from the
Massachusetts Department of Educations Safe School Program for Gay and
Lesbian Students, teachers, students, members of PFLAG (Parents, Family,
and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), and/or diversity workshop consultants
who have had success addressing these issues in other communities.
* Offer parents and guardians letters of support you have gathered from
community leaders and members of the schools.
* Include in notices and newsletters that go to parents, information and
articles on the topic of homophobia and how your school is addressing
the issue.
When working with parents, stress that you are available to discuss
their concerns. Sometimes, parents simply need to be reassured that you
are addressing these issues in a responsible manner and that you are not
advocating or promoting anything other than safely and support.
FINALLY, BE SMART
Use common sense and a little creativity to get this important work
done. You might also consider:
* Use precedence: be sure to follow the guidelines established by your
school for other activities -- for advisors, anti- hazing statements,
field trip forms, etc. It is important to follow the precedent
established by other groups on campus so that if anyone challenges you,
you can say you are following the exact same procedures as, for example,
the Chess Club, the African-American Club, etc.
* Avoid unnecessary conflicts. Don't inflame the opposition by putting
up offensive posters or inviting extremely controversial speakers to
come and address the student body. All activities, speakers, and
publicity should be appropriate for the school.
* Avoid treading too gently. It is all right to be concerned about
opposition, but the problems facing LGBT students are enormous. If you
spend too much time worrying about the obstacles the opposition may
create, you could end up doing nothing.
HANDLING RESISTANCE: IN THE CLASSROOM OR AT A SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT
(The following section was written by Warren J. Blumenfeld for the Gay,
Lesbian, and Bisexual Speakers Bureau of Boston's Speaking Out Manual.
Occasionally, you might be invited to speak before an audience you know
will be unreceptive to the information you want to present, or you might
encounter hostility from a few individuals within the group.
Hostility can be seen as a symptom of a host of emotions such as anger,
fear, or hurt. Hostility might be a direct expression of insecurity
around the basic emotional issues of human sexuality, or can be placed
in religious or political terms. For those expressing it, hostility is
serving some sort of function. It is not so much about attacking you as
it is about filling a need in them.
Hostility might be manifested in a variety of ways, such as
defensiveness, obstructiveness, yelling, arguing/debating, disrespectful
laughter, or pointed silence and withdrawal, often manifest vividly
through body language.
Verbal hostility can range from a simple question with veiled hostility,
to an outright statement like: You people disgust me!, to a persistent
attempt to disrupt the entire engagement to make a point.
Remember, in all likelihood you will not change this person. Do not try
to convince or get involved in power struggles with hostile members of
the audience. If there is any name-calling involved, do not throw it
back. Within the short amount of time you have, you will not convince
those who are firmly entrenched in their prejudices.
Try to avoid taking personally any expressions of hostility. You might
feel a tremendous amount of anger directed toward you, but in the
majority of cases these feelings have absolutely nothing to do with you
personally. You may represent issues that many people are struggling
with themselves. You can distance yourself from the hostility by
reminding yourself and your audience of this.
Be comforted to know, however, that most of your audience, even if they
disagree with you, do not want to see you harassed. If you can handle a
potentially hostile situation effectively, you will win some points.
Ultimately, you are in charge, and you can set the tone. The presence of
hostility, in a limited number of people, does not mean you are alone or
that you have lost control of the situation. When you enter a
potentially hostile situation, it is good to remember two basic
objectives:
* Manage the Hostility.
* Maintain Your Personal Integrity and Comfort Level.
Though there are not set rules on how to attain these objectives in a
speaking engagement, what follows are some strategies for trying to
defuse or redirect resistance or hostility. These strategies have been
compiled by Warren J. Blumenfeld and other members of the Gay, Lesbian,
and Bisexual Speakers Bureau, with the assistance of Cooper Thompson of
the Campaign to End Homophobia.
POST OR STATE GUIDELINES
Whether you are a classroom teacher or other school staff member, or a
speaker/facilitator from outside the group you are invited to address,
it is a good idea to begin by posting or stating a series of guidelines
setting the parameters for discussion. As stated above in Classroom
Guidelines, these guidelines include:
* All questions and opinions are appropriate to share.
* People need to respect all ideas, with no attacks or blame.
* Speak from personal experience; avoid generalizations; do not attempt
to speak for others; Use I statements.
* Share air time. Take turns speaking; listen respectfully with no
interruptions.
* Respect peoples right not to participate in the discussion.
* Be open to change some of your assumptions or opinions on the topic.
* Anonymity must be respected. People can share information about this
discussion with others outside the class only if class members names and
other identifying characteristics are not used.
IGNORE THE HOSTILITY
Sometimes the best tactic to take is simply to ignore a hostile comment
coming from the audience. This often works when the comment is an
off-hand remark rather than a direct question or statement.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE HOSTILITY
You can also acknowledge that you are aware of the comment, without
necessarily agreeing with the person, and move on without responding
further. Acknowledgment can be given by a slight shake of the head, or
simply by saying I've heard what you said, or That is interesting. You
might want to recognize the persons feelings without directly responding
to the comment or question, and then proceed. For example, I can see
that you have some strong opinions about this issue. If a question or
comment has little to do with the topic under discussion, you might
simply make this known and move on.
DEFLECT THE HOSTILITY
Appreciate people for asking questions and recognize their feelings.
Thank you for your honesty in making that comment. Many people have
similar concerns. You can then decide to address the comment (In my
experience, however, Ive have found that ... or I do not agree. However,
here's what I think...), or move on.
A good strategy can be to toss the question back to the questioner: That
is an interesting question, what do you think? Or, to give yourself a
bit more time to formulate your response: Can you say more about what
you mean? You can also toss the question to the entire group, where you
may find allies: I have my opinions on this question, but before I give
my response, I would like to hear from some of you. Does everyone here
agree with that view?
CO-OPT THE HOSTILITY
You can agree with or support a portion of the persons statement while
making a point supporting your own position: It is true that some gay
males are raised in families that might be defined as having a distant
father and overbearing mother, but so are some people who are
heterosexual. By no means is this the only kind of family situation that
gay males, lesbians, and bisexuals grow up in.
Treat a question or comment intended to bait you as if it were
legitimate and use your answer as an opportunity to provide other
information. Be aware of the underlying assumption, stereotype, or
question beneath the question that is actually being asked.
Audience Member: To a lesbian -- You're just here to pick up women.
Speaker: You raise an interesting point. There is a stereotype that
lesbians only have sex on their minds and want to convert heterosexual
people. For me, I have been in a loving relationship with another woman
for over five years, and I'm really not interested in having sex with
anyone else.
Sometimes you can silence a persons disruptive behavior, or potentially
even win that person over, by providing accurate information to
contradict the myths and negative stereotypes that result in hostility.
Explain to the audience in general, as well as to the person who asked
the question, what assumptions you think are being made. Try to give a
calm alternative to the comment.
Audience Member: If everyone were homosexual, humanity would be destined
to extinction.
Speaker: Even if one day there were only gay males and lesbians in the
world (which, by the way, I think there is little chance of), humanity
would not be destined to extinction because lesbians and gay males can
and do produce and raise children.
Though you should not take hostility personally, you can frequently
personalize the issues by relating your own experiences and giving a
number of personal anecdotes to support your position. Let your audience
see your humanity, your humor, your joy.
ADDRESS REPEATED HOSTILITY
If an audience member continually interrupts with hostile comments, you
might wish to address this disruption by allowing the member a few
minutes to say anything he or she needs to say, after which time the
disruptive member agrees to let other people speak: You obviously have a
point you want to make. Why don't you take two minutes to say whatever
it is you want to say without interruption. Than we will go back to the
general discussion (or presentation) without further comments from you.
Go ahead, you have two minutes.
Alternatively, you could give a disruptive person the opportunity to
share concerns either at the break or following the engagement: We don't
have time now to continue with this particular point, but I will be
available at the end of the discussion to talk with you about this
matter.
MOVE BEYOND THE HOSTILITY
Focus your comments on audience members who want to learn. You can do
this by addressing the disruptive individual (I'm aware that you have
asked a lot of questions, and I really need you to hear that I want you
to allow others in the room to ask theirs.) or by addressing the group
as a whole: We seem to have a difference of opinion that I don't think
we can resolve today. Since were all here to learn, lets move on to
other peoples questions. or It seems that we will not be able to reach
agreement on this point right now, so I suggest we agree to disagree. or
I think Ive already answered that, so lets give some other people a
chance to ask their questions. or I'm aware that people in the back of
the room have some concerns. Would you like to share them with the rest
of us?
There are, of course, many other strategies to deal with resistance and
some of those listed might not be suitable to your individual style of
presentation. Talk with other facilitators about their strategies and
experiences, and spend some time thinking about how you might react to
and deal with these kinds of situations. Above all else, you should
consider your own well-being to be your top priority. On those rare
occasions when the atmosphere gets too strained, do what you need to do
to take care of yourself and don't worry about how well or poorly the
workshop might turn out.
(Thanks to Pat Griffin and Janice Doppler of the Social Justice
Education Program, University of Massachusetts - Amherst for their input
into this paper.)
THE STUDENT ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW
Massachusetts has passed a landmark law that outlaws discrimination
against students on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation
in public schools, an action spearheaded by young people of all sexual
identities. The Law amends an existing state law (Chapter 622 of the
Acts of 1971, An Act to Prohibit Discrimination in Public Schools,
codified as Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 76, Sections 5 and 16)
adding the phrase sexual orientation to the list of categories (race,
color, sex, religion, and national origin) protecting students against
discrimination.
The act to prohibit discrimination against students in public school on
the basis of sexual orientation passed the Massachusetts House of
Representatives and the Senate, December 6, 1993, signed by Governor
William F. Weld, December 10, 1993, and became effective March 10, 1994:
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives in General
Court assembled, and by the authority of the same, as follows:
Section 5 of chapter 76 of the General Laws, as appearing in
the 1992 Official Edition, is hereby amended by striking out
the second sentence and inserting in place thereof the following
sentence: No person shall be excluded from or discriminated against in
admission to a public school of any town, or in obtaining the
advantages, privileges, and courses of study of such public school on
account of race, color, sex, religion, national origin, or sexual
orientation. Section 16 of Chapter 76 of the General Laws: The parent,
guardian, or custodian of a child refused admission to or excluded from
the public schools or from the advantages, privileges, and courses of
study of such public schools shall on application be furnished by the
school committee with a written statement of the reasons therefore, and
thereafter, if the refusal to admit or exclusion was unlawful, such
child may recover from the town in tort, and may examine any member of
the committee or any other officer of the town, upon interrogatories.
RECOMMENDATIONS ON THE SUPPORT AND SAFETY OF GAY AND LESBIAN STUDENTS
In addition to the students anti-discrimination law, based on the
recommendations of the report Making Schools Safer for Gay and Lesbian
Youth: Breaking the Silence in Schools and in Families of the Governors
Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, the Massachusetts Board of
Education voted in May 1993 to adopt the following steps to improve the
safely in schools and school-based support services for these students:
1. Schools are encouraged to develop policies protecting gay and lesbian
students from harassment, violence, and discrimination.
2. Schools are encouraged to offer training to school personnel in
violence prevention and suicide prevention.
3. Schools are encouraged to offer school-based support groups for gay,
lesbian, and heterosexual students.
4. Schools are encouraged to provide school-based counseling for family
members of gay and lesbian students.
MANDATE TO TEACHERS
In the fall of 1994, the Massachusetts State Board of Education, in
response to a recommendation of the Governors Commission on Gay and
Lesbian Youth, made it a requirement that all classroom teachers learn
about gay and lesbian student concerns in their training. College and
university programs that certify teachers and other school personnel
will be required by the state to include the concerns of gay and lesbian
students within teacher and school personnel certification programs.
This certification change is the first time any state in the country has
mandated teachers and school personnel to learn about gay student rights
issues. The change affects classroom teachers, school guidance
counselors, school administrators, and school psychologists who will be
certified to work in Massachusetts public schools in grades K through
12.
A statewide Higher Education Certification Task Force on Gay and Lesbian
Students was formed to provide guidelines for teacher training programs
in Massachusetts colleges and universities on implementing the changes.
ON HARASSMENT AND INVISIBILITY: ONE STUDENTS STORY
Nobody tells Latino kids in the high school that nobody cares if they're
Hispanic so long as they keep it to themselves. Jewish kids aren't told
that they're sinners, and they could change into Christians if they
wanted to. People don't tell black kids they should put up with racism
because they've come so far from when they were slaves. They don't have
to defend why there is a black history month, or why people want black
studies included in the curriculum. People don't say, That's so Korean!
when they mean something is stupid or weird. People don't tell disabled
kids that the community isn't ready to defend their equal rights and
inclusion yet. You never hear any one argue that breast cancer is Gods
way of killing off the women, or that it's a good thing. If a teacher
hears anyone use a slang insult for a Chinese kid, they jump on it. When
foreign exchange students ask teachers about dating in the school, they
aren't sent to see a guidance counselor.
But every day in the high school, I hear its okay if I'm gay so long as
I stay in the closet, that I'm an abomination against God, that I can
change if I want to, and that people like me shouldn't be taught about
in school. I'm told I should be satisfied because our school is far
better than it used to be, and that I shouldn't push for my equal rights
and inclusion because the community isn't ready yet. I hear, "That's so
gay!" all the time, and I hear that "AIDS is my punishment" for being who I
am, and I hear the word 'faggot" all the time. It's hard not to walk
around angry all the time.
--Anonymous Massachusetts High School Student
BIBLIOGRAPHY
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CONTACT INFORMATION:
Warren J. Blumenfeld
PO Box 929
Northampton, MA 01061
Tel: (413) 585-9121
Fax: (413) 584-1332
E-Mail: blumenfeld@educ.umass.edu
..................................................................
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