Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 18:57:00 -0400 From: Chris Ambidge Subject: *Integrator* files for 1990 INTEGRATOR, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto volume 90-6, issue date 1990 08 01 copyright 1990 Integrity/Toronto. The hard-copy version of this newsletter carries the ISSN 0843-574X Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9 == contents == [90-6-1] THREE GAY PERSPECTIVES ON THE CHURCH / by Lizard Bewley [90-6-2] FINDING GOD IN THE BOOK OF ESTHER, or why I remain in the Church by Chris Ambidge [90-6-3] RELIGION IS A PROBLEM FOR US WHEN IT'S JUDGMENTAL / by Jerome Whitehead [90-6-4] COPING WITH THE GODS / by Paul Varnell [90-6-5] EPISCOPAL ENCOURAGEMENT [90-6-6] AFFIRM [90-6-7] YOU READ IT HERE FIRST ======== [90-6-1] THREE GAY PERSPECTIVES ON THE CHURCH by Lizard Bewley I have always found it important to listen to as many perspectives as possible so the following three articles about the church made a natural unit for me. The first, written by my co-convenor, is from the point of view of someone inside the church. The next is written by a man who was raised in the church but is now one of the unchurched. The last is written by an atheist. Each article is very interesting but taken as a unit they seem to say even more. ======== [90-6-2] FINDING GOD IN THE BOOK OF ESTHER, or why I remain in the Church by Chris Ambidge The Book of Esther tells the story of a Jewish woman who becomes Queen of Persia, and her courageous actions, risking her life on behalf of her people. It is a gripping narrative, with danger, intrigue, and double- dealing. Eventually the "good guys", the Jews, win out, and the principal "baddie", Haman, gets his comeuppance -- swinging from a scaffold he originally prepared for Esther's cousin Mordecai. The Book of Esther is something of a puzzle, though. Some people wonder why it has been included in the canon of scripture, because the oldest version of the story does not mention the name of God at all. Parts of the Book of Esther are "deuterocanonical" -- they are not in the Hebrew original, but only in (later) Greek versions. The name of God appears only in the later Greek. The noted theologian, Karl Barth, was once asked "Have you found God in the Book of Esther?". His answer was "No, but I'm still looking". Barth had not discovered a lesson, a particular truth about God in the book -- but he was keeping an open mind. A conversation that I had a while ago showed me where I could find God in the Book of Esther. A friend related to me a question asked of Sr Joan Chittister, who is a Roman Catholic Benedictine nun, and a feminist. Sr Joan was asked how she could hold those two in tension, how she could possibly remain loyal to an institution widely perceived to be anti-female, and denigrating the ministry, rights and gifts of women. The sister replied that her role model was Queen Esther. Esther was in a safe position: she could have remained safe in her position as Queen, ignored her Jewish heritage and allowed the conniving Haman to exploit the Jewish people. Instead, she used her position as Queen to work within the structure of the Persian court to improve the lot of her people. In doing this, she placed herself at considerable personal risk. Nevertheless, by remaining within a potentially oppressive system, Esther was able to use her influence to best advantage, and change the system to make it more just for an oppressed minority -- of which she was a member. Sr Joan uses the example of Esther to guide her as a feminist within the potentially oppressive system of the Roman Catholic church. I can use Esther as a reason for my remaining within my branch of the church. As a homosexual person, I have not always been dealt with kindly by the church. On balance, however, I am proud to say that I am an Anglican. The church has nurtured me along my life-journey, and I am trying to repay that debt. I work within my church to help others as God gives me strength -- in my parish, in the diocese, and in Integrity. I believe that in doing this, I am obeying Christ's command to love God and my neighbour. When the occasion arises, I am there to present the gay/lesbian viewpoint within the church. That presentation is the more authentic because I am talking about me, and my own experiences. The church needs to hear that, and if I (or other lesbian/gay people) don't speak, who will? This is similar to, say, the issues faced by Native Canadians. The church needs to hear those issues, from the mouths of our First Nations. As a European, I cannot speak for them with the voice of experience; neither can I expect a heterosexual to speak for gay/lesbian concerns with the voice of experience. Like Queen Esther, I have a number of choices. She could have allowed the needs of her people to pass her by: I could remain closeted and leave the problems of my lesbian/gay sisters and brothers to someone else. She could have abandoned ship altogether: I could choose to leave the church, and say "good riddance to bad rubbish". Esther found that for her personal integrity, she had to work within the Persian court for her people. Likewise, for my personal integrity, I have to work within the Anglican church. The key word there is "within". I could choose a prophetic ministry, and call the church to repentance from the margins, or from outside. That is not my vocation. I believe that by remaining in the church, I can work most effectively for God's greater glory. Please pray for me, and the others who follow in Esther's footsteps, who remain within (while working for the change and growth of) the church that we love. ======== [90-6-3] RELIGION IS A PROBLEM FOR US WHEN IT'S JUDGMENTAL by Jerome Whitehead originally published in *Philadelphia Gay News*, 1 June 1990 Let's talk about religion for a moment, shall we? I am careful about who I discuss religion with, because it is all to easy to get into a heated debate. My personal attitude about religion is simple -- I believe that there is a God. I believe in the scriptures and I believe in Jesus. What I don't believe in are the various religious institutions. The very reason why I don't believe in religious institutions is the same reason why some of us do not believe in God. No one wants to, nor likes, being judged. Unfortunately, most religious institutions do just that. To give a good example of what I'm saying, I telephoned a Baptist church on my lunch break one day, hoping that I could interview the pastor for this article. I never got through to him. Instead, I talked with the church secretary, a charming young woman I will call "Clare". I told Clare I wished to speak with the pastor. I said that I wrote for PGN and I wanted to interview him for this article. She asked what PGN stood for. When I told her, the first thing she said was that I needed to be saved. I told her that one of the main reasons why people in our community won't attend church services is because we do not want to be ostracised, made to feel as if we don't belong or are not worthy of God's love. I also pointed out to her that no one wants to be judged, and that the job of judgement has already been issued to someone -- and it wasn't her, the pastor or the congregation. She said that though it was true that she and the pastor are not God, she is a child of God. I asked her did she mean that homosexuals are not. She told me that God walks with those who choose to turn away from their sin. This attitude is the reason why a great many of us don't want to go to church and be affiliated with a religious organisation. I was raised to believe in God. I was baptised a Catholic before I could comprehend what religion really was. I was an altar boy. I have felt (and I know I'm not alone on this) that sometimes God was all I had. This is something that has been instilled in me since I was small. Interestingly enough, I knew that I was gay long before I knew about God. I tried to tell Clare that what people who belong to a set congregation have a tendency to do (that sometimes they don't even realise) is judge people. They point the finger and they subject those who refuse to conform to their beliefs, denying those individuals the right to worship the Lord as they will. As my best friend put it to me, being gay is like being born black or with blue eyes or dark hair. That is the way I was born. I did not choose this, so why condemn me for something I had no control over? I do believe that God exists. It is my personal belief that we are all God's children. He did not select a "chosen" few. He did not say, "Okay, everybody be Baptist or you'll burn in hell forever!" He did not put Catholics in charge. He did tell us to love one another. You can treat someone as you yourself would want to be treated. To be that way is not easy, and no one ever said that it would be. It is, in fact, downright hard when you take into consideration the kind of society in which we live. I can empathise with anyone who chooses to remain in the closet in church. In all honesty, it really isn't anyone's business who you choose to live with, or who you choose to love. We all know that most denominations would not accept us if it were known who and what we are. Still, there are those of us who feel compelled to belong to a religious institution. The bottom line is this -- for those of us who desire to have religion in our lives, we have to keep in mind one thing. God loves us for who and what we are. So when we go to services, keep in mind that we are listening to God's word. We know that most congregations will not accept us, but we are not praying to the congregations, or the priest or the nun or the minister. We are praying to God. So, pray! We are not perfect. We all need a guide for living, whether we find it within ourselves or from the Bible or the church. Remember, if you do believe in God, there is only one judge -- and he does not sit upon this Earth. ======== [90-6-4] COPING WITH THE GODS by Paul Varnell . Originally published in *Philadelphia Gay News*, 1 June 1990 The opposition to homosexuality, which usually means the opposition to homosexuals, often or usually comes from religion or is presented in the language or accents of religion. It is easy to point to the Rev Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority, resolutions by the good ol' boys of the Southern Baptist Convention, the state-sanctioned murder of gays and lesbians in Islamic Iran, oppressive laws in arch-Catholic Ireland, vocal hostility by New York's doddering Cardinal O'Connor, and run-of- the-mill denunciations from pulpits televised and otherwise. It is easy in such a climate for gays and lesbians to become hostile to religion and to Christianity in particular. My columns get more response, and more positive response, when I take a poke at religion than at any other time. "I wish you'd write something about all those gay religious groups in the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade", a friend of mine urged; "I think it's scandalous." And this view sometimes extends to the notion that if we could only get rid of religion we'd somehow be free of homophobia and a whole lot better off -- that religion is not an opiate [as Marx said] but more a stimulant to crazed behaviour and an inducement to evil. I started collecting notes toward a column on gays and religion, trying to determine what might be said about the subject that was not already boringly familiar. Partly because religion fascinates me and partly because I think the issue lurks barely below the surface for a lot of people, though it seldom gets written about in newspapers. This column is a result of some of those notes, a kind of work-in-progress, that probably will not and cannot be finished. Begin at the beginning. Are there any gods? No, of course not. (This will be demonstrated clearly and succinctly in my next column.) Is religion a stronghold of anti-gay sentiment? Yes without a doubt -- both at the popular and at the doctrinal level. Then shouldn't we actively oppose all religion in order to achieve freedom and dignity for gays? Not so fast! It doubtful whether it is possible to extirpate religion. "We" may simply be stuck with it as part of human existence, of human nature if you will. Communists tried in a particularly ham-handed and brutal way to wipe out religion and they were markedly unsuccessful. And despite repeated scientific shocks to religious orthodoxy, religion always seems to bounce back. The distinguished (albeit obscure) philosopher of history, Eric Voegelin, once observed that man may best be understood as a theologising animal. Whatever Voegelin may mean, it does seem true that most people seem to want to link their lives to something other than and beyond themselves. They seem to want something to provide a reference point or context for their lives that they can experience as "meaning." This might be true even if such a posture indicates a neurosis (Sigmund Freud) or lack of self-esteem (Nathaniel Branden). But doesn't this theologising, this religion, make people hostile to gays? Not necessarily. By providing a kind of cosmic context or support for their lives, religion may just intensify or lend justification (sanction) to whatever views people already have picked up from other sources. The number of people must surely be very small who were never homophobic until their church instructed them to become so. Mostly, I suspect religion just makes people more certain: historically, it appears to have given them justification for coercively enforcing their views. Then why does religion seem so homophobic? For one thing, "our" religion carries with it much of the cultural detritus of the era in which it was formed -- out of which it grew and against which it set itself. But just as important, part of the way sexuality operates is that apparently any preference or orientation tend to be accompanied by an aversion to its opposite. Thus, if religion gives people the sense that whatever they like or dislike has cosmic support, then they will easily be led to see their tastes as approved by gods. Some people, who may overemphasise the role of philosophy in people's lives, have argued that Christianity is homophobic because it borrowed from Greek philosophy certain notions about "natural" ends or purposes by which sex is justified only by its (usually unintended) by-product -- a baby. But it is hard to believe that argument ever persuaded anyone who didn't already believe its conclusion. (Such people are usually quite willing to sing, even though the "natural" purpose of the mouth is to eat.) But, in any case, aren't most religious people homophobic and "our" enemies? Nonsense. Look around. Note the Metropolitan Community Churches, Dignity, the Society of Friends, the new black gay Unity Fellowship Church, the gay caucuses in many Protestant denominations, the Unitarians, the United Church of Christ, the hierarchy (at least) of the Episcopal church. In every sect there are decent and benevolent people who befriend and support gays. And such people's decency may be motivated in part by their notion of what religion requires: it seems true that the religious injunction to do the right thing is slightly (if only slightly) stronger than any particular doctrinal elucidation of what the right thing specifically is. Even Thomas Aquinas gives a basic tenet: do good, avoid evil. And such people's confidence that gods approve of them and what they do may give them the moral courage to move against the grain. If this is true for supportive heterosexuals, then how much more true it may be for religious gays themselves engaged in long, painful and always honourable struggles against the inertia of centuries of unreflective hostility. It is impossible not to admire their courage and endurance. And we all will be the gainers should they win. Our real enemies in the religions are not the openly gay people, but he gays and lesbians who silently and invisibly accede to homophobic teaching without witnessing to the contrary. Their silence is a kind of hypocrisy -- and no religion has spoken well of hypocrites. Hypocrisy is usually a failure of faith, not of confidence in it, and a measure of the distance one feels from the gods, that is, from the source of meaning and purpose in one's life. ======== [90-6-5] EPISCOPAL ENCOURAGEMENT Integrity/Toronto is in correspondence with several bishops on a variety of subjects of lesbian/gay concern. One of them concluded a recent letter with these words: " However, I believe that the constant prayer and the witness of Christian life and practice by gay and lesbian Anglicans will continue to change lives and attitudes. Say not the struggle naught availeth." Say not, indeed. ======== [90-6-6] AFFIRM Affirm, the gay/lesbian caucus in the United Church, is holding its annual conference in Toronto this August -- just before the United Church holds its General Council in London. "The Issue", of full lesbian/gay membership in the church, will be debated then, and our prayers are certainly with the members of Affirm at this time. In conjunction with their annual conference, Affirm have invited all members of the Toronto Gay/Lesbian Interfaith Network to a dance and get-together on Saturday 11 August, 8-11pm, on the second floor patio at The 457 -- 457 Church St. There's a cash bar, and complimentary tickets are available from Chris. Hope to see lots of people there! ======== [90-6-7] YOU READ IT HERE FIRST We are pleased to report that various articles from *Integrator* have been appearing in other publications. Bonnie Bewley's *Daughter of God* editorial has shown up in the newsletters of Integrity/Austin and Integrity/Twin Cities, and her article on going to Rochester for Cameron and Sandy's blessing of commitment was in a recent *Integrity News & Notes*, the national publication of Integrity Inc in the USA. *News & Notes* also picked up articles by Bonnie and Mayne Ellis on General Synod, Mayne's book review of Carter Heyward's newest book, and Chris Ambidge's *Court of the Gentiles: Looking in from the outside*. The *Gentiles* article has also appeared in *The Desert Rose*, of Integrity/ Tucson; in *The Anglican* and in *The Record* (the diocesan newspapers of Toronto and Michigan, respectively), and will appear in the US publication *The Witness* in the future. When reprinted in *The Anglican*, Chris' article did not carry an author's by-line. The next month, a letter to the editor took exception to one of Chris' points, on whether God would bless a lesgay couple. An amusing point to note is that the letter writer assumed that the article was by a woman: Chris thought that a reference to singing tenor in a church choir was fairly diagnostic, but apparently not. On a more serious note, papers can only print letters that are sent to them, so if you see an article in a periodical on a lesbian/gay theme, PLEASE write to the editor to express your opinion (whether you agreed with the original item or not). To do otherwise is sometimes to let the opposite viewpoint carry by default. You might want to send a clipping of that article, (and maybe a copy of your letter) to *Integrator*, as well. We're always on the lookout for articles of interest to our readers, and appreciate all contributions. ======== End of volume 90-6 of Integrator, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto copyright 1990 Integrity/Toronto Editors this issue: Bonnie Bewley & Chris Ambidge comments please to Chris Ambidge, current Editor chris.ambidge@utoronto.ca OR Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9