Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 18:57:00 -0400 From: Chris Ambidge Subject: *Integrator* files for 1990 INTEGRATOR, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto volume 90-2, issue date 1990 02 02 copyright 1990 Integrity/Toronto. The hard-copy version of this newsletter carries the ISSN 0843-574X Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9 == contents == [90-2-1] I WANTED TO BE A LESBIAN, BUT I COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE READING by Lizard Bewley [90-2-2] NEW EXECUTIVE [90-2-3] A TALE OF TWO BOOKS [The Spiral Dance by Starhawk & Another Mother Tongue by Judy Grahn] review by Kathy Horton [90-2-4] JOHN MCNEILL TAKES A CHANCE [Taking a Chance On God by John J McNeill] review by Chris Ambidge [90-2-5] 12 STEPS TO ACCEPTANCE [Accepting Ourselves by Sheppard B Kominars] review by Roxanne [90-2-6] HEYWARD'S NEWEST CHALLENGE TO US [Touching Our Strength by Carter Heyward] review by Mayne Ellis [90-2-7] GAY PRIESTS: INTERESTING BUT NOT SHOCKING [Gay Priests ed James G Wolf] review by Norm Rickaby ===== [90-2-1] I WANTED TO BE A LESBIAN, BUT I COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE READING by Lizard Bewley This slogan, which I read on a T-shirt and immediately identified with, seems to be a sentiment shared by all my lesbian/gay friends and, worded slightly differently, my straight friends. Most flat surfaces in my home are covered with books and articles I plan to read as soon as I get a minute. You will note by the lack of a review here with my name on it that I am not having much luck. If you are anything like me, you want to get the most from your precious and all too limited reading time. In an effort to help *Integrator* brings you this *all review edition*. If we get positive feed back from our readers we will do more review issues in the future, perhaps branching out into fiction. There are enough gay/lesbian detective stories around to do an entire issue just on them. Do you know of any books you feel we should review, or better still which you would like to review? Please let us know. We would like to thank the people at Harper & Row who have kindly put us on their mailing list and have since bombarded us with all kinds of wonderful books. We really appreciate their generosity in providing us with all but two of the books reviewed here. I hope you find something in the following pages that sparks your interest. Curling up with a good book is an enjoyable way to pass the long winter nights (if you can't find anything better to curl up with that is). = = = = = = = The Reviewers -- are all members of Integrity MAYNE ELLIS is Convener of Integrity/Vancouver. She recently appeared on a TV discussion panel with Svend Robinson MP NORM RICKABY is a parish priest in suburban Toronto CHRIS AMBIDGE is Co-convener of Integrity/Toronto. He was recently on a retreat led by John McNeill KATHY HORTON is Canadian Regional Director of Lutherans Concerned/North America. She is an AIDS worker for The Downtown Churchworker's Association ROXANNE prefers to remain anonymous. ======== [90-2-2] NEW EXECUTIVE This is an update for those of you who missed the Annual General Meeting. As a look at the masthead will tell you, there have been some changes to the executive. After long and dedicated service to Integrity/Toronto Sandy Tipper has decided to retire from the executive. His contributions to the meetings will be missed, however, he will be continuing as the Programme Co-Ordinator. The other change is a more happy one. We welcome Don Uttley to the position of Co-Secretary. ======== [90-2-3] A TALE OF TWO BOOKS by Kathy Horton [The Spiral Dance by Starhawk Harper & Row $16.95 paperback; Another Mother Tongue by Judy Grahn Beacon $15.95 paperback] I first read *Another Mother Tongue *on my own with *no* pressure from *Integrator's* editors. Then came the fate-filled call, would I read and comment on *The Spiral Dance.* Sure, said I, thinking I would whip it off between Christmas and New Year. Of course that was foolishly unrealistic. Adding to my "burden", I realised that what Starhawk has to say makes more sense for lesbian/gay people by first reading Judy Grahn's book. So now, having already been given an extra day to get this to the editors, I'm stuck with *two* book reviews. Fortunately, both are worth convincing others to read. Grahn's book is three interwoven tales. The first is a superb description about what being lesbian, and to a certain extent, gay, is all about. The perfect book to give to friends and family who seen unable to hear it from you. This story line includes fascinating insights into the 50's and 60's, the bars, the military, the oppression, the silence. Grahn's second tale is about the cultural circumstances in which gay/lesbian people have existed in numerous times and places. Finally (and here we are treated to Grahn's poetic gifts) we experience both a final dialogue with and eulogy for Vonnie, Grahn's now dead first lover. It is the second of these three which I found the most intriguing. My experiences in Lutherans Concerned and more peripherally in other lesbian/gay church related groups suggest a predominate attitude which goes something like this. "Oh please Father, let us into kind Mother Church and we promise to act just like good heterosexuals except for those brief moments between the sheets at night and those occasional excursions to the bars, neither of which you really want to know about." A basic premise of this attitude is that there is no particular role for gay/lesbian people in contemporary cultures and that the only suitable model for intimate relations is that portrayed by heterosexuals. Grahn challenges this presumption as she recounts many examples of lesbian/gay people functioning specifically as priestess/priest, healer and shaman. No wonder so many of us are drawn to priestly functions -- and all the time I thought it was men wanting to do drag in public places! In Grahn's words, "Homosexuality is a way of being, one that can completely influence a person's life and shape its meaning and direction." If we are to live as if we are a good, integral and *unique* community, this brings up a profound question: have Christian traditions/theology been intentionally shaped to create the illusion that we have no place in the *koinonia*? Add to this the questions women and women-positive men have raised in recent years, and we are faced with deep and perhaps disturbing faith possibilities. A helping hand comes from Starhawk's discussion of the rebirthing of the ancient Goddess-based religion. Her book is a rich source of information about these old ways referred to as Wicca or Witchcraft. It also contains rituals and exercises one can do. Starhawk has taught at the Institute for Culture and Creation Spirituality with Dominican Matthew Fox and physicist Brian Swimme. Her teaching experience, her Jewish origins and years of involvement in covens, make her well based in thealogy (her suggested spelling). It is fairly easy to identify congruences and differences between Wicca and traditional Christian thought. For me, most of the differences did not exclude the possibility of accommodating my Christian heritage to these older ways of seeking and relating to the divine and sacred. One can opt to reform (Wicca means to bend and form) Christian ways using Starhawk's thealogy. What we think of as male imagery and terminology (God figure) are also part of the Goddess tradition. Starhawk rightly advocates an extra focus on the female imagery as a balance to the centuries of male dominance of religious thought. She suggests that the only function of gender difference is genetic diversity. Beyond that, masculine and feminine are not necessary concepts. Both books are very readable. I struggle with Grahn's use of "gay" as inclusive for both genders, however it is hard to condemn it outright when she sees the term deriving from Gaia, the earth Goddess. Traditional Christian theology is not good at integrating body, mind and spirit. As described in *The Spiral Dance*, Witchcraft seems to do a better job of it, but even within Witchcraft there appears to be a need to go beyond the body. I think that to see ourselves as other than embodied is a mistake. I recommend that you read both books. *Another Mother Tongue* I have described; to encourage you to read *Spiral Dance*, I will leave you with my favourite quote from Starhawk: "sexuality as the expression of the creative life force of the universe - it is sacred, the manifestation of the Goddess. Fortunately, this does not mean you have to be ordained before you can do it. In orgasm, we share in the force that moves the stars." ======== [90-2-4] JOHN MCNEILL TAKES A CHANCE by Chris Ambidge [Taking a Chance On God by John J McNeill Beacon $25.95 hardback $14.95 paperback] John McNeill is well-known to the gay/lesbian religious community. He gave the keynote address at the first convention of Dignity in 1973, and three years later published *The Church and the Homosexual*. This book was originally published with the *imprimatur* of the Catholic church, but that approval was rapidly revoked by the powers-that-be in that church. McNeill himself, at that time a Jesuit, was ordered not to speak on the issue of homosexuality. He obeyed that order for ten years, devoting his energies to a psychotherapeutic practice to lesbian/gay clients. Ten years later, the Vatican ordered McNeill to stop ministering in any way to homosexuals. This was the proverbial last straw, and he thanks the Holy Spirit for prompting the Vatican to issue orders that he could no longer in conscience obey. McNeill was expelled from the Jesuits, and so freed to write *Taking a Chance On God*. The book's subtitle is "Liberating theology for gays, lesbians and their lovers, families and friends." It is a book of liberation, and it is a theology, but it is not nearly as dry and systematic as the latter term might imply. It is very personal and direct, drawing on his own experience as the "youngest, gay son of an Irish-American family in Buffalo, NY", as a soldier and later prisoner-of-war in Germany, as a Jesuit priest, and latterly as the therapist of gays/lesbians. It is here that one of the book's great strengths lies: Father McNeill both practices and preaches that theology must be informed by human experience. He interprets the gospel in light not only of the rest of the bible, and the words of the early fathers; but also in the light of his own journey through this life. The insights of homosexual Christians are listened to, and woven into a model of "spirituality based in the revelatory experience of lesbian and gay Christians, a spirituality designed to meet their special needs". The book is multi-faceted, and each reader will gain different insights and liberations. Two in particular spoke to me. One was John's dictum that "Whatever is bad psychology must be bad theology". I, like many others, have found myself battered by the church telling me that my homosexuality was bad, and that if I *really* loved God, I would at the very least not act on it. That led to all sorts of ascetic resolutions, made at times when I was feeling particularly pious. When my humanity inevitably reasserted itself, I would feel awful, as if I had somehow let God down. The guilt that every time washed over me, courtesy of the church, battered my psyche. It was not until well after I got my Master of Divinity degree that I finally rejected "body and sexuality are bad, only the soul is good" as just plain bad theology. Maybe my slowness to detect that was because it struck so close to home. McNeill has given me a litmus test to detect bad theology: if the psychology is wrong, so is the vision of God. John also speaks at length on the play ethic. North Americans particularly have long felt that only those who work are truly deserving of a place in society. We are valued, both by ourselves and by others, for what we do. In theological terms, this is nothing more than justification by works. McNeill points out that we are enveloped by divine love for who we are - God's children - and not for what we do. If we find our worth in our existence, not in production, we become as children playing, secure in the love of our parent. These two concepts crystallised thoughts that had been bouncing around unformed in my mind [despite the MDiv training], and that is the blessing that this book has given to me. It is the sort of book that will bring different thoughts into focus for other people. I urge you to read it and discover what they are for you. ======== [90-2-5] 12 STEPS TO ACCEPTANCE by Roxanne [ACCEPTING OURSELVES: The Twelve-Step Journey of Recovery from Addiction for Gay Men and Lesbians by Sheppard B Kominars Harper & Row $12.95 paperback] We are aware that there is a major problem in society today with alcohol and substance addiction. It is more likely to be a problem for gays and lesbians: indeed, substance addiction affects the lesbian/gay community *three times* as much as the general population. There is a very definite link between the two. Gays/lesbians have significant problems with self acceptance, and alcohol or other drugs provide an escape. In *Accepting Ourselves*, Sheppard Kominars offers understanding, help and support to lesbian/gay people trying to climb out of addiction. The first person plural of the title is deliberate: Kominars has gone this way himself. The closet is all about denial, both of sexuality and the emotions that are involved with it. Addicts also frequently have to lead a life of secrecy and denial, and for gay/lesbian addicts, that is "a double dose of despair to swallow", as Kominars writes. The twelve-step process has proven its worth for countless people dealing with problems in their lives. The first of those steps is acceptance. Acceptance, both of the addiction and of sexual orientation, is the beginning of the road to health. Kominars tells the story of his own journey out of addiction, "It became clear to me how crucial it was to heal emotionally and spiritually - as well as physically - that I became willing to accept myself for the man I am." The author presents and examines each of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, relating each to the particular needs of the lesbian/gay addict. He draws from his own experience and from the stories of others in exploring integrating the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs of the recovering addict. Too many homosexual people have felt themselves to be basically flawed, have heard from society that they are sub-standard. Too many of us have tried to find solace from a drug - be it alcohol or something else. The solution is not in a bottle, it is in a fundamental sense of self-worth. That acceptance can only come from within. It helps if someone who has walked the same road is there, and that is what Sheppard Kominars provides in this book. If you are, or if you know someone in this position, read *Accepting Ourselves* ======== [90-2-6] HEYWARD'S NEWEST CHALLENGE TO US by Mayne Ellis [TOUCHING OUR STRENGTH, The Erotic as Power and the Love of God by Carter Heyward Harper & Row $16.95 paperback] I think it was my wise old prof, David J, who observed that you get from a book in the same measure what you bring to it. This review is probably as much about me as about the book *Touching Our Strength* by Carter Heyward. She has become my friend through this book - an uncomfortable, challenging and faithful friend. I have rarely met any writer, let alone a theological one, who so clearly likes what God has made; who does not see creation as other than rich blessing. Her theme is still unfamiliar: what she calls "erotic" is more than just sexual sensation, it IS the energy which connects us in our bodies to the earth, to others, and to God. The measure of how deeply we have been indoctrinated to believe the erotic/sexual/sensual as inimical to spirituality was made frustratingly clear to me. I balked like a mule through the first half of the book. The word itself troubled me, was its own barrier. For most of us, "erotic" MEANS sex. The erotic is what we are supposed to practice our suppress and self-hatred on. Heyward makes a number of important connections in a very small space, beginning from the premise that our church (ie the whole body of Christ) has developed into an oppressing institution, and that this has come about through our learned denial of "the erotic as power and the love of God." She elegantly connects erotophobia with the anti-sexual institutions that disconnect and destroy us: prostitution, the abuse of women, children and gay/lesbian people, violent sports (and violence in sports), war and its imitations, the enslavement of marginalised populations, pornography and other cultural fantasies (such as the United States' vision of itself as the righteous cowboy), and many manifestations of the Christian faith. My own Archbishop, in a recent sermon on Isaiah 42, noted that the first task or responsibility of the servant of God is to bring justice to "the nations" (ie the outsiders, the non-chosen). Heyward's ground of commitment is exactly that. She does not say, If you love, you will try to do justice. Love IS justice: to love is the act of making justice. The energy we use and experience in this loving and justice-making is erotic. This made me re-examine the Incarnation, and what follows are my thoughts about it. Jesus came into a world which was being increasingly split: the body degraded, the spirit mysticised. The Platonists, who were having increasing impact on spiritual theory, held that the physical world is deceptive and faulty in comparison with the abstract perfection of non-physical ideas. The forcible marriage of this concept with Christian theology resulted in the inquisition and the witch-hunts, expressions of the sincerely-held belief that, in destroying the visible and meaningless body, one could save the invisible and all-important soul. This kind of dualism, incidentally is still with us: Rev Robert Birch, paid for an ad condemning the 1990 Vancouver Gay Games and, by extension, gayness (see *Integrator* 90-1 , article 90-1-1). He stated that the ad was published for God's eyes because "we believe the real world is the unseen world, where lies all power. The world we touch is not real." Contrast this with Jesus' hands-on ministry. Think of Theresa of Calcutta, who can no more keep from touching, caressing and holding people than she can keep from breathing; brilliantly illustrating Heyward's comment that "touching is a primary relational need". People who truly love other people - God's created persons - touch because that is the way God's power works in our embodied world. When Jesus returned from the dead, it was NOT a disembodied spirit, but as a physically accessible and recognisable person. Heyward does not say this, but it is inescapable: a God who does this is a God who profoundly loves OUR embodiment. Heyward makes it clear that embodiment is not accidental. It is not something God did to us to give us "something to overcome", but that our bodies and our ability to experience physical relatedness, to experience the erotic, are necessary for us to take part in the realisation of justice. Her twin themes of erotic power as God's power, and our need for right, loving and just relation to each other are poetically present throughout the book. We all must write the book we are commanded to write, and I know Carter has served God faithfully. It is not a perfect book. There are occasional moments of philosophic preciousness; and I lost interest toward the end, as she addressed herself to specific people. God's intentionality and creativity are imaged in us. Our primary act is to be in right relation with one another. Heyward's vision of joyful struggle: we as God's people; allowing the full physical energy of God --not merely polite, not merely sexual or sensual -- to order and direct our lives is, dare I say it, seductive in the holiest sense. I am grateful for this book, which says things I have believed alone for many years, and which has called me to go further than I would have dared, on my own. Lesbians and gay men particularly have struggled with our embodiment in a revelatory way. I believe this book will empower any who have struggled with their own incarnation to trust their unique strength. This strength is God's, and we must use it to heal our church of its hatred of embodiment. Carter speaks to and yet beyond our personal struggle and questioning, to the basic issues of creation itself, and to how we may recognise God's spirit in creation. Don't miss this one. ======== [90-2-7] GAY PRIESTS: INTERESTING BUT NOT SHOCKING by Norm Rickaby [Gay Priests edited by James G Wolf Harper & Row $26.95 hardback] This is a book which elsewhere has been called "controversial". That's how it may seem to people who have not thought much (if at all) about the presence and ministry of gays among the ordained. The title, and the fact that the book *assumes* a normality to gay identity, could shake some people. However, I doubt that regular readers of *this* paper will be unaware of or shocked by gay clergy serving in and contributing to the pastoral and liturgical work of the church. The book, of 176 pages, is divided into five chapters. The first chapter, "A Sociological Investigation", reports on a survey conducted by James G. Wolf of 101 self-identified gay Roman Catholic priests in the U.S. The other chapters are separate essays of personal reflections and insights written anonymously (for obvious reasons) by four of those gay priests. Wolf explains in the Appendix that his original hope was to conduct a random sampling of 2500 priests across the U.S. on sexuality and the priesthood. However, initial trials indicated that there would be little hope of sufficient response (even anonymous response) to get a valid cross-section. Even with the voluntary survey used here, where several gay priests passed questionnaires to known gay priests who passed others on to more known gay priests, less than 50% actually responded. The study comes up with some good information, though, and general responses about spiritual experience, about happiness and "job satisfaction", about future plans with regard to continuing in the priesthood are compared with a study done for the National Conference of Catholic Bishops in 1970. Interestingly enough, the gay priests (at least those responding here) measure up well with the wider sampling. They enjoy their work, they experience a sense of God working in and through them, and they feel that they will stay in this vocation. If, like me, you are not particularly thrilled with numbers, percentages and sociological methodology, you may get more out of reading the essays by the four priests. Even though they are (by necessity) anonymous, they help to "put a face" on the people the book is about. I'm continually impressed with how well the people who have struggled with their identity and who have sometimes fought real battles to achieve their place in ministry (blacks, women, gays & lesbians) accomplish meaningful theological reflection about what it means to minister and to be a Christian. These four men are no exception. They not only see their own talents and gifts, but try hard to sense what God may be saying to the church in the special insight that lesbians and gay men bring with them to the ordained ministry. If I have any negative criticism to make about this book, it would be that James Wolf, the editor of this book and the one who did the study, is not realistic about what is going on in the institutional church with regard to homosexuals. Wolf says; "No accusation can be made that the Catholic Church supports an overt policy of discrimination against gay people because of their sexuality" (p.65) and "Given that any organised religion is by definition a moral institution, it would be wholly unacceptable for the Roman Catholic church in contemporary society to openly promote a policy of active discrimination against homosexuals" (p.71). Can he really believe what he says? Why were people so reluctant to respond to his survey, even anonymously, if there is not an atmosphere of discrimination being created in the church? Would members of Dignity, the Roman Catholic lesbian and gay caucus, be so charitable? *Gay Priests* raises some important questions, provides some fascinating insights and is worth reading (especially the personal essays in the second part) for anyone interested in the theological questions and ideas raised by it. ======== End of volume 90-2 of Integrator, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto copyright 1990 Integrity/Toronto Editors this issue: Bonnie Bewley & Chris Ambidge comments please to Chris Ambidge, current Editor chris.ambidge@utoronto.ca OR Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9