Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 18:56:33 -0400 From: Chris Ambidge Subject: *Integrator* files for 1989 INTEGRATOR, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto volume 89-7, issue date 1989 09.06 copyright 1989 Integrity/Toronto. The hard-copy version of this newsletter carries the ISSN 0843-574X Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9 == contents == [89-7-1A] A CELEBRATION ... [89-7-1B] ... ATTENDED BY FOREIGN UNDESIRABLES / both by Bonnie Bewley [89-7-2] THE HUNT FOR THE PINK JELLY BEAN / *Integrity at General Synod as seen by Mayne Ellis of Integrity/Vancouver* [89-7-3] LETTER FROM PITTSBURGH / by Dan Beck, Convener of Integrity/Pittsburgh ======== [89-7-1A] A CELEBRATION ... by Bonnie Bewley On Saturday August 19th Sandy Tipper and Cameron Atkison travelled to Rochester, New York for a Blessing of Commitment service. They were accompanied by six people from Toronto, four of them from Integrity, and were met at Calvary/St Andrew's Church by two people who flew in from New York City. During the service Sandy and Cameron exchanged vows and rings before receiving a blessing on their commitment from the Rev Walt Lee Szymanski. This all took place within the context of a eucharist service. John Gartshore played the organ, while Chris Ambidge acted as witness for Sandy and Joe Monaco acted as witness for Cameron. We were all very glad that we could, within the Anglican Communion, if not within the Anglican Church of Canada, celebrate with Cameron and Sandy the love they have found and the commitment they have made to each other before God. We rejoice at the uniting of these two people because we recognise their love for each other to be a manifestation of God's love for them. At present, Canadian Anglican priests are specifically forbidden to do what Walt did for Sandy and Cameron. The 1978 prohibition by the House of Bishops transmits a message to gays and lesbians that our love is not a gift of God. This hurts, more than straight people probably can imagine. Part of the hurt is this: Christians are raised to offer to God, in and with the church, all the major events of their lives. This is true for lesbians and gays as much as for straights. When choosing a life partner, however, not everyone may celebrate God's gift of interpersonal love within their faith community. I am grateful to the Diocese of Rochester for providing a place where, for the last fifteen years, people have been able to celebrate gay/lesbian unions. Cameron and Sandy live close enough to go to Rochester for their Blessing of Commitment, a rite officially recognised by the Bishop and Diocese of Rochester. Most Canadians do not. I pray that the day will come soon when Canadian couples of the same sex can celebrate before God their life-long commitments to each other in their own churches, in their own country. ======== [89-7-1B] ... ATTENDED BY FOREIGN UNDESIRABLES also by Bonnie Bewley On Saturday August 19th I found out what it feels like to be a foreign undesirable. It is not an experience I will soon forget. It is the policy of the United States government that, solely on grounds of their sexual orientation, all lesbians/ gays who are not US citizens are classed as "foreign undesirables". This means that border guards have both the right and the duty to bar all foreign gays/lesbians from entering the country for any reason. This also means that if your orientation is discovered while you are in the USA you are subject to immediate deportation. This doesn't often happen, and the inhospitality implied is in sharp contrast to the warm welcome I have always received from lesbians and gays in the States. Nevertheless, people *have* been asked to leave, and I have met someone who was denied entry. This does not make for a calm feeling as one approaches the border. Being aware of what can happen, those of us attending the blessing of Sandy and Cameron's union were careful to rehearse ahead of time just how much of the truth it was safe to tell the immigration officer. I won't forget the fear I felt as we went through every one of the rehearsed answers with a hostile guard. I also won't forget the relief, anger and humiliation I felt when we had managed to cross the border. I was not made to feel any better by the knowledge that American lesbians/gays are also treated as undesirables. If you are gay/lesbian, in twenty-five states it is still a crime to make love in the privacy of your own home. I am not satisfied with the progress that has been made in Canada in the area of civil rights for lesbians/gays. However, I must admit that when we recrossed the border I loudly echoed the statement Dorothy made when she left Oz: "There is no place like home!". ======== [89-7-2] THE HUNT FOR THE PINK JELLY BEAN + Integrity at General Synod as seen by Mayne Ellis + of Integrity/Vancouver When we of Integrity went to General Synod, we were outsiders (and considered so by many others). It was even suggested that we were part of a conspiracy. The sense of being on a job uncertain in quality and potential, and at some risk to ourselves, was very real. Chris, Bonnie, John, Sandy and I began the first night of Synod with prayer. The only thing we have been sure of is that God wants and needs gay and lesbian Christians in the church - open, working, living, witnessing, rejoicing for God AS lesbian and gay people. Gay people are marginalised and hated by many in our church. As Christians, we find ourselves distanced from the "secular" gay/lesbian community which, like most of the rest of the non-Christian world, is apathetic and often openly hostile, to God and the church. One clergyman who visited us at our colourful and always-inhabited booth on the mezzanine told us that he found it remarkable that gay and lesbian people had elected so often to remain within a church and a faith that rejected them He professed himself moved by our love and fidelity. For me, the key issue was *presence*. We were present as openly gay, openly Christian people. Our message to the Anglican church at thus Synod was a quiet one: We are here. Let us consult together. Let us bring healing truth to replace the ignorant misinformation you may presently have. To be ignored and avoided is not pleasant. I felt like calling after someone in a reassuring voice, "You won't turn gay through eye contact!" I didn't, of course. But it was a temptation. It is very hard to be denied. Who would dare tell one of our Aboriginal sisters or brothers that they did not exist, that their experience of oppression was a lie, that they were NOT Cree - Inuit - Kwaguul - but something else? That they had CHOSEN to be Aboriginal people, and were therefore sinful? Yet that is what happened on several occasions. Just by being who we were invalidated our witness, for some. I use that comparison because a lot of attention was focused in this Synod on Aboriginal concerns. From our ringside seat on the mezzanine, we listened to testimonies, expressions of concern, and tense and angry debate. I found that I can respect a church which has room for all these things, and for its hunger to do the thing that Christ wants. I also saw that it is a difficult and anxious process, sometimes, for God's will to be understood by a large community, each with its own fears, interests and needs. The necessity of our presence became clear as we were told several times that there were no homosexuals in the Anglican church. It must have been disturbing for these deniers to be confronted with the evidence of their own eyes: lesbian and gay Anglicans. They'd say, almost desperately, "Well, there aren't any in MY diocese/parish." We pointed out that, in our experience, there were gay and lesbian people in every church who were just scared to say so. There were some dramatic low points: confronting a Newfoundland man, a volunteer with the local arrangements committee. He was so upset by my presence that he could not look me in the eye, and fidgeted the whole time. How frightened he was of me (5'2", 110 pounds soaking wet). He insisted that we had not prayed enough to be healed, suggested that a night with him would make me change my mind. Yes, this happened at Synod. (Chris said cheerfully, "It's a good thing you didn't go with him, Mayne! He might have put you off being Anglican for the next forty years.") Yet, for the rest of his life, when he thinks of "homosexuals", he will think of us. Not stereotypes or faceless nasty monsters in the shadows, but people who remained calm and courteous. It is for this that I went to Synod: to break the barriers that keep some people from seeing us. There were many highlights. Although our dear Primate could not be with us, as a member of the New Westminster diocese, I was deeply impressed by the gracious work of "my" bishop, Douglas Hambidge, who chaired the entire Synod with real love. There was Faith, who adopted all five of us on the first day. A leading light in St John's Prayer Fellowship, a representative of the Canadian Anglican Church to Lambeth last year, she has a (UK) Movement for the Ordination of Women poster hung over her microwave. Don, her partner, is a priest in a St John's parish; they've raised nine kids. In Faith we recognised the Comforter, working for and loving us. When the members of Synod were invited to listen to Clyde Wells go on about Meech Lake at the Hotel Newfoundland, we of Integrity were gorging ourselves on fresh salmon, new potatoes and (of course) fruit salad at Don and Faith's home. I venture to say we had the better company, conversation and food. Their daughter Tasha has adopted Stonewall, one of our toy stuffed giraffes. The women of the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer, who conducted the prayer room just off the Synod floor, were uniformly kind, generous, loving. They helped organise the AIDS vigil of prayer; they brought us baked goodies to be sure we got our share; they loved us without criticism or question. One brought us an Evening Telegram article that intelligently discussed "our" issues, knowing our interest. They prayed for us, the way God needs us to pray for each other. Sandy said, "When one of those women walks by, I feel the breath of the Holy Spirit." We all came away moved and inspired by their prayerful witness in the life of Synod. Some of the best moments we had were not even related to our presence at the booth, which was always staffed between 8:30 am and 9:30 pm each day. Sitting in the dining hall with everybody, we had many opportunities to meet and talk with a wide variety of people. We didn't just talk about lesbian/gay issues, but about everything. I will always cherish the conversations I had: about travel, narrow escapes as a flight engineer over occupied Europe during the second World War, the work of refugee groups and the many other issues and concerns that people faced in Synod. All of us had opportunities to get to know a fine bunch of people. We could not, it is true, speak to everyone, and some people deliberately avoided us, but we were all there, together. I have to confess, I had expected more opposition, more anger, more resentment, more challenge. Yet most of the people we talked with were at the very least willing to think about the particular problems and virtues of lesbian and gay people, and more than I can count were absolutely supportive and empathetic. As John, I think, remarked: "The support is out there. We don't have to create it, but it is essential that we encourage it, work with people, and educate, educate, educate!" The poor location given the exhibitors meant that not everyone knew or came to look around. It would have been nice to reach everybody, but, in retrospect, I don't mind. I believe that our quiet, low-key presence was effective in ways that we can't guess. People were able to tell us the most personal and painful stories in a safe place. I was proud of Integrity Canada for making that possible. I was proud of our booth, the place to be on the exhibition floor. Bonnie's magnificent hand-done banners, rainbows and the Integrity logo, our many photos of Integrity events (including the night that our Primate, Michael, came to Integrity/Toronto to celebrate the eucharist!), our many-coloured pamphlets, rainbow ribbons, buttons and posters all created a festive and joyful atmosphere. No sub-fusc Anglicans here! we seemed to proclaim. And in one light touch, that of the jelly-beans, I think we transcended ourselves. Someone from Integrity/Toronto came up with the idea of dispensing a different flavour of jellybean each day, with a sign that read "Fruit of the Day". That got more laughs, eased more tension, and invited more interest and friendliness than any other single thing on the table, even the giraffes and Leonard, my beloved puppet rabbit companion. It was a beautiful demonstration that, although we take very seriously the issue of our church and its dealing with sexuality, including our own, we know a good joke when we see it. And nobody can eat a gourmet jellybean and not feel warmer toward the person that offered it. Our plan for the next Synod is to have goodies that diabetic and sugar-restricted people can eat. On the last day, we looked at each other, memorising faces. None of us are much use at good-byes. We'd done it: ten days on a job that called for every bit of whatever good was in us. Completed with no losses or casualties, and some identifiable wins. We'd been so used for so long for things to be bad, that even this qualified victory was a surprise. Be we all knew it was just the beginning. ======== [89-7-3] LETTER FROM PITTSBURGH [Dan Beck is the Convener of Integrity/Pittsburgh. This chapter, [though far from large, was the moving force behind establishing St [Aelred House, a low-rent housing project for People with AIDS. St [Aelred's (named after Integrity's patron saint) is intended for [those who are able to care for themselves, but who cannot afford [an ordinary apartment. It gives residents the opportunity to [retain their independence, while providing a supportive and co- [operative environment. Dan recently sent us this letter:] Dear Friends: We in Pittsburgh appreciate your dedication to keeping us informed about events in Toronto. Congratulations on the eucharist with the Bishop last winter. I'm sure that it was a delight to feel welcome. I have just come back from the Integrity national convention in San Francisco. I was hoping that you would have been there, but I understand fully about schedules and finances. I went alone, but soon was in the bright company of saints. Bp Spong was there, as was Bp Hunt of Rhode Island, representing the commission established to engage gay Episcopalians in "dialogue." Malcolm Boyd preached once, and John McNeill spoke in a seminar on his new book They were all fine folks, but the delight of the weekend was meeting the movers and shakers of the chapters. I met a couple from Minneapolis who were the first gay couple registered as such to take in foster children. There was also the Texas set, a dedicated crowd from a very hostile place. The New York chapter was true to form, let by the inimitable Kim. With such a large gathering of good souls, it was inevitable that I walked away with a stronger sense of the worthiness of our cause. At the banquet, the Pittsburgh chapter received recognition for outstanding work with PWA's. I hope that you can get to St Louis next summer for the convention there. Things in Integrity here have slowed for the summer. We have taken on the project of increasing clergy participation by inviting about a dozen to celebrate with us this year. We don't seem to have any problems finding clergy to participate. St Aelred house for PWAs is going well: we have no problem finding money and donations for it. The biggest problem is the explosive mixture of personalities which inevitably happens when you put people together who do not have much experience living with strangers (or for that matter with anyone at all), who are too sick to take a job but well enough of the time to be annoyed at not having much to do, who are scared, who are angry, and who are impatient about the slowness of volunteer efforts. It is working out well, but is by no means easy. The bishop has been by St Aelred House to visit again, and we are much encouraged by that, although he never acknowledges that we have anything to do with it. I hope that all is going well for you. Give my best to everyone Dan 18 July 89 ======== End of volume 89-7 of Integrator, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto copyright 1989 Integrity/Toronto Editor this issue: Bonnie Bewley comments please to Chris Ambidge, current Editor chris.ambidge@utoronto.ca OR Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9