Date: Wed, 5 Apr 95 17:32:43 EDT From: "James D. Anderson" MORE LIGHT UPDATE January 1993 Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns James D. Anderson, Communications Secretary P.O. 38 New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038 908/249-1016, 908/932-7501 (Rutgers University) FAX 908/932-6916 (Rutgers University) Internet: janderson@zodiac.rutgers.edu or jda@gandalf.rutgers.edu Note: * is used occasionally to indicate italicized or boldface text. CONTENTS Spirit Prayers: Prayers for More Light 1993 -- An Ecumenical Gathering of Prayers for Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexual and Transgender Persons, Their Families and Friends, Edited and Introduced by Chris Glaser Church Rapes Two Lesbians: Dyke-bashing, Fag-bashing raised to new heights The Convocation of 500 Letter from New York * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Spirit Prayers Prayers for More Light 1993 An Ecumenical Gathering of Prayers for Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexual and Transgender Persons, Their Families and Friends Edited and Introduced by Chris Glaser [Box: Chris Glaser is the author of *Coming Out to God -- Prayers for Lesbians, Gay Men, Their Families and Friends* (Westminster/John Knox, 1991). He is a regular columnist for the *More Light Update* and has written two other books, published by Harper & Row: *Uncommon Calling -- A Gay Man's Struggle to Serve the Church* and *Come Home! -- Reclaiming Spirituality and Community as Gay Men and Lesbians*. He frequently speaks, preaches, and conducts workshops, retreats, and seminars for churches, campuses, and gay, lesbian, and bisexual religious and secular groups.] An Introductory Prayer Dear Holy Spirit, Never has the church been more in need of your revolutionary, radicalizing presence. You have moved across the globe and brought democracy and peace where we little expected it. You have moved across the nation and brought change and hope when we most needed it. As you have moved upon the body politic, we pray you will move upon the body of Christ, bringing new life to its withering appendages, especially our own Presbyterian Church (USA). Inspire us with the anger of Jesus, clearing the temple grounds, damning the self-righteous, silencing authorities, demanding the disciples' devotion, risking a cross to bring life. Inspire us with the joy of Pentecost, descending with flames of passion, opening our mouths, giving us language to speak, transforming pathos to triumph, converting strangers to faith. Inspire us with the Gospel's vision of a new heaven and a new earth, of a common spiritual wealth, of an inclusive church, of truth written in our hearts, of justice embodied in our love. On your altar I lay my anger and fury at the Presbyterian Church's denial of your call to lesbians and gay men, bisexual and transgender persons. On your altar lay the hope of martyrs: Janie, Lisa, David, Bill, Sandy, Bet, Diana, Scott, and countless more. Their hope cries out for justice, Hope spilled by jealous brothers and sisters. How long, O Spirit? Hear these prayers, we pray, in, with, and for you -- -- The Spirit who calls creation out of chaos, liberation out of bondage, justice out of oppression, serenity out of whirlwinds, blessing out of baptism, empowerment out of vulnerability, reformation out of turpitude. Use us as seeds of change, as the leaven of transformation, and as vessels of your healing balm, as the church abandons its own calling to deny ours, wounding itself and others. Amen. Dedication I write this two days after the United States elections, and one day after learning that the Permanent Judicial Commission of the Presbyterian Church (USA) has denied the call of the Rev. Jane Adams Spahr and questioned the licensing of Lisa Larges. High hope for the body politic is mixed with deep despair for the body of Christ. Great joy for my nation is mixed with enormous anger for my church. As the news has spread of the PJC decisions, I've received calls and letters from stunned, hurt, and angry Presbyterians from all over the country, wondering what we should do in response. One even expressed fear for her life; after all, it's not a giant step from depriving one of a living to depriving one of living. I speak only for myself when I say: It is time to ACT UP! Give your money only to More Light Congregations (sorry, all you congregations who haven't passed More Light resolutions -- it's no longer enough simply to be `nice' to us). Make trouble in your sessions, your deacon boards, your committees, your choirs, your congregations, your presbyteries, your synods, and at General Assembly. (They don't like us anyway, so why be nice?). No business as usual until the church reverses its position on the ordination of gay, lesbian, and bisexual members. Let the reactionaries / bigots / biblical literalists / fundamentalists leave the Presbyterian Church (USA). They are never going to be our friends; they are spiritual fascists. And pray! Pray for justice. Pray for the Spirit. Pray for an epiphany for the church. Howard Warren, the founder of Presbyterian ACT UP! embodies such prayer -- in his words and in his actions. That's why I am dedicating the *More Light Prayer Book 1993* to God in thanksgiving for the life and ministry of the Rev. Howard Warren. His constant theme of "the wildly inclusive Spirit" gave birth to this collection's focus: *Spirit Prayers*. Howard is director of pastoral care for the Damien Center, an AIDS service center in Indianapolis. HIV-positive himself, he has helped hundreds discover and rediscover their spirituality in the midst of the AIDS crisis. Prior to that, he had served several congregations whose ongoing love for him reveals his own compassionate ministry. Justice movements often find their new leadership in succeeding generations, but Howard is an exception to this rule. I'm a generation in front of him, yet he even made *me* nervous when he determined to lead an action on the floor of the Baltimore Assembly during opening worship! But I felt pride when I saw him there, beneath the podium, holding a sign that said "SHAME!", anticipating the negative vote on the human sexuality study. No one remembers a word of the sermon preached above him, but anyone who was there remembers the Word embodied in that white-haired gentleman, robed in clerical garb and mystical majesty. This October, on the weekend that the AIDS Quilt came to Washington, D.C., many of us heard Howard preach at Westminster Presbyterian Church. Noting that the AIDS toll will soon reach that of those gay people killed in Nazi death camps, he asked, "What is the difference between Nazi Germany and the United States killing a quarter-of-a-million gay people?" Yet, in the sermon, Howard Spirit-fully declared, "Hope will make us silent no more." In the name of that Spirit, it's time for you to come out, come out, wherever you are: as advocates of our cause, as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Hope should make us silent no more. Coming out is the only answer to the bigotry of our families, our friends, our coworkers, our fellow citizens, our pastors, our congregations, our presbyteries, and our Permanent Judicial Commission. Yes, it's risky. Yes, it may mean a cross. But it is the only way to resurrection. Epiphany is the season of the Spirit's coming out in Jesus, from the dove at his baptism to the glow of his transfiguration, observed between Epiphany (January 6) and the beginning of Lent. Our own epiphany -- our own coming out -- may lead to a Lenten wilderness, to a cross, but it will also lead to our resurrection -- to an Easter morning for the church in which the body is raised and hallowed by the Spirit who lovingly created its diverse forms. I hope that the prayers that follow may be as healing and provocative for the reader as they have been for me at this painful and troubling time. -- Chris Glaser, West Hollywood, CA Day 1 The Spirit comes to help us . . . The Spirit pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. Rom.8:26 O Wildly Inclusive God, who loves all of the beautiful rainbow of human sexual orientation: Remind us that we have a very practical Trinity -- one who gives life, one who redeems life, one who stays with us forever. Hear our groans, Holy Spirit, particularly, to make a home in all churches that call themselves the Body of Christ: for Bisexuals, Gay men, Heterosexuals, Lesbian women, Transgender persons. At times we are overwhelmed and hurt by this angry exclusion. At these times let us realize how much *more* hurt you are. Come Holy Spirit, Come! Free your people! Alleluia, Amen. Howard Warren, Director of Pastoral Care, The Damien Center, Indianapolis, IN. Day 2 The white fathers told us, "I think, therefore I am" and the Black Mother within each of us -- the poet -- whispers in our dreams, I feel, therefore I can be free. -- Audre Lorde. Spirit of the One and the Many, You who live in us and through us: We feel so connected in this intertwining. We feel alive in your/our passion. We feel heard and affirmed by your/our love. You who whisper in the deepest parts of us: Still us into a peace we dare to imagine. Center us in you -- in us -- to break free. Peace and Passion us into liberation. Then let us soar with you, yet be grounded in us, in the healing of the earth, in the healing of each other. Janie Spahr, Executive Director of Spectrum (formerly Ministry of Light), Center for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns, San Anselmo, CA. Day 3 Enough for me to keep my soul tranquil and quiet, like a child in its mother's arms, as content as a child that has been weaned. Ps.131:2 Spirit Wind, love us to justice. Your wind, O Spirit, is whipping up inside us. The falsehoods we've been taught about ourselves by the Church are being blown away into your heart of love to be transformed from the fear and even hate from which they've come, into courage and truth and justice-love. Hold us tight to your bosom until we know beyond words the goodness of our spirit while linked with yours. Then may we hold hands and stride together into the play and the work and the life that is ours to live with you. Keep spiriting your wind within us, and may we keep saying "Yes." Coni Staff, Metropolitan Community Church Minister, San Rafael, CA; "lover of women, my chosen family, my dog Chetty, softball, and my love of lifetimes, Janie." Day 4 For within her is a spirit intelligent, holy, unique, manifold, subtle, active, incisive, unsullied, lucid, invulnerable, benevolent, sharp, irresistible, beneficent, loving to humanity, steadfast, dependable, unperturbed, almighty, all-surveying, penetrating all intelligent, pure and most subtle spirits; for Wisdom is quicker to move than any motion; she is so pure, she pervades and permeates all things. She is a breath of the power of God . . . Wisdom 7:22-25a (JB) Blessed Spirit, Holy Wisdom, Sofia of our heart-and-head: Must you always soar around us until we invite you in, or will you enter boldly, defying odds of unreasoned bias, clearing out sclerotic arteries, articulating frozen joints, enlarging channels to our heart to flood our body/soul with life-sustaining love? Enter us, Wisdom Goddess! We seek your enlivening presence before our time is passed, to cleanse homophobic corridors of our lives -- that we may truly know you and open long-closed gates, welcoming and embracing those we've fearfully shut out, confessing our sin, seeking forgiveness, receiving unearned love. Amen. Virginia West Davidson, Elder, Downtown United Presbyterian Church of Rochester, NY, "an advanced old woman, uncontrollable by any earthly force." Day 5 The Lord went in front of them in a pillar of cloud by day, to lead them along the way, and in a pillar of fire by night, to give them light, so that they might travel by day and by night. Ex. 13:21 (NRSV) God, you are always in our future, beckoning us toward a horizon we are not sure we want to reach. We think of the things that are past and wish you would give us, again, that with which we were comfortable. But you lead us from the future. Thank you for the assurance that we will not be without you then, as we are not without you now, and give us the courage to follow your lead. James Richards, Pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Knoxville, TN; formerly Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Topeka, KS. Day 6 One can have no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. Jn.15:13 ff (JB) You are amazing grace, Divine Spirit. Your spirit works and is working in my life. I have found a friend -- a kindred spirit -- who is certain about who she is and is not undone by who I am. Grace! Your spirit at work. Courage! "You are so strong, so outspoken," *they* say. (Translation: "How un-lady-like -- yes, even unChristian -- of you to have an opinion, much less say it!") Grace! "You speak the truth," my new friend says. "It is painful to hear the truth, but once it has been heard, there is no turning back," I affirm. Kindness! Your spirit is revealed in wanton acts of kindness! "Fear has no place," she says with ease. I flinch, for fear is real. Words that hurt: whore bitch slut dyke Naming that heals: friend lover sister crone Divine Spirit, bless this friendship. Help it to thrive. May it heal and bring peace. So be it. Ann Hayman, Executive Director of the Mary Magdalene Project, Los Angeles, CA; "a Presbyterian with heavy druid leanings." Day 7 The wind blows where it wills . . . so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. Jn.3:8 (RSV) God, your Spirit -- which moved over the face of the earth, creating, and spoke through priests, prophets, and prostitutes -- Continues to move throughout this world, Speaking, acting, through diverse peoples in every land. We confess our desire to control the Spirit, to harness its will, to point its direction. Help us to let go, to watch, listen, wait. Attune our hearts, minds, spirits to follow the Spirit, to discern the spirits. Free our spirit to soar with your Spirit, that we too might move in the direction you would have us go. Dave Martin, Executive Director of AIDS Interfaith of Marin and Spectrum (formerly Ministry of Light) staffperson, San Anselmo, CA. Day 8 For just as a loincloth clings to a man's waist, so I had intended the whole House of Judah to cling to me -- it is Yahweh who speaks -- to be my people, my glory, my honour and my boast. But they have not listened. Jer.13:11 (JB) Creator God, for whom all hearts are already open, all desires are known, and from whom no secrets are ever hidden: Thank you for not turning out the lights when you made each of our parts. Thank you for all the wondrous gifts we're not supposed to talk about, for the first person who kissed us with mouth open, for angels we've entertained unawares, for hair caught in our teeth, for bright clouds reflected on a lover's iris . . . Help us to live as whole persons, to love the world as much as you do, to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly in your sight. Amen. Louie Crew, Professor, Writer, Founder of Integrity International, Newark, NJ. Day 9 . . . for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love and self-control. 2 Tim.1:7 (RSV) Gracious God, who has created such marvelous diversity in the world, grant us a spirit of boldness so that we may tell and live your love for all people. Help us to throw aside our timidity and come out of the closet on behalf of our daughters and sons who are lesbian and gay. Grant us self-control so that our boldness does not bring injury to those with whom we disagree, but healing. Above all, grant us an indiscriminate love which can bring down every barrier that keeps us apart. Mary Jane Houston, "a mother whose life is enriched immeasurably by a beautiful daughter and new-found gay and lesbian friends," Liberty, MO. Day 10 Come, let us walk in the light of the Lord! Is.2:5 (NRSV) O Resplendent Light, in whom there is no darkness at all, your radiance has dawned upon the earth in the face of Jesus Christ our Lord. Let the bright streams of your grace fall into the shadowed corners of our lives that we may cast off all fear and enmity, walk boldly as children of your light, and claim the gleaming inheritance you have prepared for all who trust in you; to the praise of your glorious name. Amen. Patrick J. Willson, Pastor, St. Stephen Presbyterian Church, Fort Worth, TX. Day 11 I, Yahweh, have called you and given you power to see that justice is done on earth. Is.42:6a (TEV) Gentle Spirit, your quiet voice makes me mindful of my many blessings. I remember the gifts of family and home and all that is given for my life. So, too, you remind me of life as experienced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people throughout the world. Especially, I recall the street boys of Brazil, hunted and murdered. Place them under your protective wing. Stay the hands of those who would harm them, and transform their hearts. Continue to watch over my global family, and prompt me to action on their behalf. God, in your mercy, hear this prayer. Amen. Leo Treadway, Co-Director of Wingspan Ministry of St. Paul- Reformation Lutheran Church (ELCA), Saint Paul, MN; "Openly gay- identified, [Leo] celebrates 20 years of pastoral ministry and advocacy, none of which impresses his two cats." Day 12 There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. Gal.3:26-28 (NRSV) Spirit of Life, We are your newest bridge people, bisexual women and men in your kingdom at home in the middle spanning opposite shores. Our straight friends ask us to explain our selves, our gay-lesbian friends ask us to defend our positions, as if our place were no place. We pray for your Spirit of Unity. Help others leave their banks of fear and join us in oneness. Heal them from envy, denial, fear of difference, and enable them to see us, eyes open to our beauty. We pray for your gift of understanding. Help us love ourselves and the connection we embody. Neither gay nor straight, both gay and straight, We are One in our beings and One in you. Help us know and own and share our gifts for your name's sake in the wholeness of your creation. We pray in your unity, one in Christ Jesus, Amen. Bisexual College Chaplain Day 13 Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. Ps.139:7-8 (NRSV) Eternal Spirit! You the earth-maker, the pain-bearer, the life-giver, why do I try to flee you? Do I fear that my own brokenness is not worthy of healing? That my darkness is too dark for you? My deadness too dead? Jostle me now with the amazing assurance that you are with me even in Sheol's pits. Calm me with the conviction that your healing is greater than any hurt, your love stronger than any death. Gentle me, Gentle One, into spirit-life again! Amen. James B. Nelson, Professor and Author, United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, New Brighton, MN. Day 14 The people . . . in the darkness have seen a great light . . . Is.9:2 (NIV) Giver of Life, When I sit in the darkness and my spirit aches to reconcile itself with creation, and even the song of the guitar in my hands sounds lonely, Whispers of the Words you have spoken throughout humanity's struggle embrace my soul. I contemplate them: Grace, Hope, Compassion, Peace, Joy, Mercy, Truth, Forgiveness, Inclusion, Love . . . And I pray that all who have worn the label "outcast," all who have gone without love, and all who sit in the darkness with guitars -- that is, those you have given to me as family -- find meaning in the words you speak. Tom Barad, "a member of the family," Disciples of Christ, recent graduate of Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK. Day 15 And I will pray to God who shall give you another Comforter, that it may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because the world neither sees or knows the Comforter; but you know the Comforter for it dwells with you and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Jn.14:16-18 Come Lord Jesus, come . . . Fill me with your Spirit. I get so tired of the struggle to understand and be understood . . . to stay well . . . It's hard . . . then, your Comforter comes . . . I feel your strength flow into me . . . your understanding . . . your love . . . things get easier. I love your Spirit, Jesus. Oh, the struggles don't stop . . . I just have the strength, the desire, to go on -- to work out whatever it is -- Your Comforter heals me -- takes the "quit" out of me -- makes me laugh instead of cry. Bless you, Jesus, for your comfort and your Comforter -- bless you . . . Amen. B.J. "Beau" McDaniels, Pastor of Christ the King Metropolitan Community Church, Oklahoma City, OK. Day 16 Save me, O God! The water is up to my neck . . . and the waves are about to drown me. Ps.69:1-2 (TEV) O God, In a time when the world's hatred washes over us, fill us with your Spirit of courage and love! In a time when the world's ignorance ridicules and condemns, vindicate us with your spirit of compassion! In a time when the world's fear threatens our undoing, save us with your Spirit of justice and peace. Lord, as your Spirit moved across the waters of primeval chaos and called forth goodness, so now loose your Spirit of power and life upon your beleaguered lesbian, gay, and bisexual children, that all may work to fill the world with Christ's love! Amen. Robert W. Ryder, Pastor of First Presbyterian Church of South Sioux City, NE; Friend and advocate for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. Day 17 . . . For we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Rom.8:26 (NRSV) Spirit of Peace and Justice, we have been promised that when we are too weary you will pray for us, interpreting our silence before God. And we are wearied -- we are tired. Tired of the hatred and anger and seemingly tireless assault upon those we love, upon ourselves. Why, Great Spirit of God, must so many use *your* name to justify their ignorance, their fear, their contempt for our gay, lesbian, and bisexual brothers and sisters? May your Spirit dwell within us and comfort us, and may that same Spirit move within the hearts of those so filled with hatred. Susan M. Ryder, Associate Pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Sioux City, IA, Friend and Advocate for gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals; Passionate about peace and justice; Sioux City, IA. Day 18 We want to know . . . about the grace of God . . . 2 Cor.8:1-15 (NRSV) Gracious and everpresent Spirit, Draw me near to you this day. Calm my disquieted heart. Soothe my anxious mind. Free my bound up soul. Guide me into paths of healing and wholeness. Merciful God, whenever there is fear in my life, draw me into your circle of grace. Whenever there is sadness in my life, draw me into your circle of grace. Whenever there is depression in my life, draw me into your circle of grace. Joyful God, whenever there is hope in my life, may it be sustained through the nurturing of your grace. Whenever there is community in my life, may it be sustained through the nurturing of your grace. Whenever there is love in my life, may it be sustained through the nurturing of grace. Daring God, help me to discern more fully that I deserve your love and attention as does every creature in your realm. Draw near to me this day and grant me my petitions. Amen. Allen V. Harris, Associate Minister, Park Avenue Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), New York City, NY. Day 19 And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire the sound of sheer silence. 1 Kings 19:12 (NRSV) Precious Lord, I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. I have been empowered by your presence in the midst of my own windstorms, my earthquakes, my fires, and on the banks of my Red Sea. We have been intimately connected when the forces of nature and humanity raged against me *and* when we were alone, wrapped in "the sound of sheer silence." But is this enough? Do I love enough, especially those who don't love me? Do I give enough, especially to those with nothing to give in return? Will there be a dove for me? Addie J. Butler, Lutherans Concerned, Philadelphia, PA Day 20 As long as my breath is in me and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, I hold fast my righteousness, and will not let it go. Job 27:2,6a (NRSV) Spirit of Truth, you often seem elusive to us: to speak truth can result in being shunned by parents, siblings, or children; to be honest can jeopardize our pastorate or job. Why does embracing you run the risk of discrimination and pain? Spirit of Truth, fill my heart . . . my breath . . . my soul. Encompass me with your ever-changing form. Ease the bitterness of my constant struggle. Strengthen me against those who would use you to hurt me. Let me never doubt my own integrity, my own freedom to disclose, the authenticity of my faith. Guide my vision to your ultimate manifestation. Amen. Mark Bowman, National Coordinator, Reconciling Congregation Program, United Methodist Church, Chicago, IL. Day 21 Be still, and know that I am God! Ps.46:10 (NRSV) Spirit of gentleness, known despite the harshness of accusations and misunderstandings; Spirit of love, known even amid the pain of hatred and oppression; Spirit of kindness, known through those that risk for the sake of their lives and the lives/loves of others; Spirit of peace, known in the still, small voice -- even as the winds rush to overwhelm and break us: Bring our spirits the presence of your gentleness, love, kindness, peace, so that we might be persons who witness to you and your strength. Amen. Barbara Anne Keely, Professor, United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, New Brighton, MN. Day 22 There is one Body, one Spirit, just as you were all called into one and the same hope when you were called. Eph.4:4 (JB) My Gracious Lord, My friend Chris asked me to write a prayer and, to be honest with you, I'm not in much of a mood to pray. I was in the cemetery again today. Pastoring a predominantly gay and lesbian church finds me there a lot. When I saw the different sections of the cemetery, I was reminded of the African American section that existed in a fenced-off back section of our family cemetery in South Arkansas. We are apparently determined, even in death, to keep our partitions and barriers up. And the graveyard with its special sections and plots continues our separation. Lord, you didn't make any of us better than anyone else. You made us all the same. You certainly love us all the same. Help us to see the folly of separated sections of the graveyard, and then maybe we can learn something about living together. Amen. Jerry Cook, Pastor, White Rock Community Church, Dallas, TX Day 23 . . . The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Rom.8:26 (NRSV) Fill us with your Spirit, O God, that we may be strengthened to serve you by serving others. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Fill us with your Spirit, O God, so that we may not be crushed by ignorance, prejudice, or hatred. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Fill us with your Spirit, O God, so that we may reach out to our sisters and brothers with your message of unending love. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Fill our churches with your Spirit, O God, so that they might welcome all persons and be truly an inclusive community. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Fill with your Spirit, O God, All those who seek peace among nations, and who work for justice for all peoples. Sustain and encourage them. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Fill and comfort with your Spirit, O God, the people of Somalia, Saravejo, Nagorno, Karabagh, Tajikistan, and all who are suffering through difficult winter days. COME HOLY SPIRIT! Bob Lodwick, Presbyterian Church (USA) Representative to Europe, Geneva, Switzerland. Day 24 When I look at thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars which thou hast established; what is humankind that thou art mindful of us, and the sons and daughters of humankind that thou dost care for them? Ps.8:3-4 (RSV) We are God's work of art. Eph.2:10a (JB) [Ed. note: A third text -- Ghost Ranch, New Mexico, also inspired this prayer.] Who am I, God, That you would set me high Upon a rock? Who am I, Lord, That you would reveal your face Everywhere I turn? Who am I, Spirit, That you would speak to me In the wilderness, Touch me on the plain, Enfold in the arroyo, Love me in the abyss? Who am I, God, That you would set my soul to soar Where my feet can no longer tread? Who am I, Lord, That you would cleanse me With water and fire? Who am I, Spirit, That you would drown me In your majesty, Flood me in your might, Awe me in your power? Lover of my soul, I am your child. Just one ordinary person. Yet more beautiful to you, More precious to you, More loved by you, Crafted by you with more care Than the mesa itself. Lover of my soul, Penetrate deep within my heart. Lover of my soul, I am your work of art. Peter Coulombe, Cornell Law School student, second year; member of the Cornell Protestant Cooperative Ministry; Ithaca, NY. Day 25 [Deborah] said, "But, the way you are going about it, the glory will not be yours; for Yahweh will deliver [the enemy] into the hands of a woman." Judges 4:9 God, let us listen to those who speak in ways not often understood. Help us hear with our hearts and with understanding in our souls those whom we see but most often do not hear: The women's souls we do not hear. Those women who have no name. Let us hear and name and celebrate them. The first women who used fire, the first women who ground grain to make bread. The women of the Bible who are not named. Those who kept the animals, worked the fields, took care of the children, worshiped God, and created home. Those who gave up everything to follow a dream of a new life. Those who surrounded and supported Jesus, the Christ. The Mothers, the Teachers, the Nurturers who left their imprint, not on paper, but on the soul of the generations. The women who sang the songs of our history to keep it alive. Let us hear the cries of the women who died as witches because they had knowledge; who lived as slaves and taught freedom; who endured as mothers and grandmothers of soldiers. Let us hear the women of our time: the mothers and grandmothers of The Disappeared in Chile, women who work for choices, women who surround and support those who are HIV positive or are themselves HIV positive, the lesbian and bisexual who has been denied a place to speak of God. God, we thank you for these lives, these saints whose voices have been silenced because of fear that they speak too hard a truth. We promise to work at listening to their truth, moved to action on behalf of all who speak with a different voice. By naming and listening we give power and substance to all, enriching ourselves and honoring you, O God. May we hear you in one another's voices. Amen. Donna Gates, Member of West Hollywood Presbyterian Church, Los Angeles, CA. Day 26 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. . . . Our hope for you is unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. 2 Cor.1:5&7 (RSV) Creator, Spirit that gives being from nothing, Spirit that blew life into Adam and Eve, Spirit that instructed, inspired, and invited ancestors, Spirit that brought salvation to the world through a virgin, Spirit that gives language to our thoughts and inner voices: Visit me. My body is failing, as is my spirit. Death preoccupies my days. These changes confuse and frighten me. Blow across me with a refreshing breeze. Clear away the clouds that darken my soul. Renew in me hope. Speak to me a word that gives direction and purpose. Create in me a new conviction to share your presence in my life. Come, Spirit, Come. Mike Merrifield, United Methodist with AIDS, Dallas, TX. Day 27 Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon my servant, who will bring forth justice to the nations. Is.42:1 (NRSV) Move within us and among us, O Spirit of life. As we walk through an alien and unknown land, bolster our resolve to live authentically and openly. Walk with us, stand by us, and watch over us as we strive toward wholeness. Uphold us, O God, when we tire of life's daily routine. Draw us near to your heart of love, and strengthen us in our journey toward justice and peace. Delight in us, O God, as much as we delight in you. Gently caress our exhaustion into wholeness; our frustration into energy; our anger into love and peace. Restore to us the vision of your creation, the healing power of your hand of light and the stability of your solidarity. Jeff Johnson, Co-Director/Pastor of Voice & Vision: Lutheran Lesbian and Gay Ministry, San Francisco, CA. Day 28 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 1 Jn.4:18 (NRSV) Sacred Spirit, we thank you for the dark, for the opportunities to lie down quietly and review the day. We thank you for memories which teach us and delight us, for mistakes which remind us of our need for others and the chance to forgive and be forgiven. We thank you for fears that the light crowds out but darkness invites back in because we know you want our healing from all fear that light or dark can bring. We thank you for the ability to feel pain, for it means we have a capacity to receive joy. Deliver us from numbness and disconnection with ourselves and others. Deliver us from avoidance of what will stretch us and help us heal. Companion us in the dusk and teach us that courage is fear that has prayed and been embraced by love. Ruth M. Frost, Co-Director/Pastor of Voice & Vision: Lutheran Lesbian and Gay Ministry, San Francisco, CA. Day 29 Make a joyful noise to Yahweh, all the lands. . . . It is God that made us, and we are God's. Ps.100:1 & 3b (RSV) (See all of Ps.100, American Bible House) Make a joyful noise unto the Lord! We as gay persons joyfully celebrate our life in you; for we do serve you and sing praises before you. We know you are the Lord and that you have made us as gay persons, not we ourselves. We are your people and the sheep of your pasture. As gaymen, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders, we do enter into your gates with thanksgiving and into your courts with praise; We do bless your name. We know that you are good and that your mercy upon us is everlasting, and that your truth endures to all generations. Jim Earhart, Recording Secretary of Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns (national), Atlanta, GA. Day 30 . . . The Spirit of God joins with our spirit in testifying that we are God's children . . . Rom.8:16 (NEB) Come Holy Spirit: Enable us . . . . . to hear your "still, small voice" as we seek to be your prophets in this time and place, . . to feel your power and your love as we confront the physical, emotional, spiritual, and political diseases of this world. Come Holy Spirit: Celebrate with us . . . . who we are as loved children of a gracious God, . . what we have faced as noble reformers and as timid followers, . . where we are going as people of faith cautiously open to your direction. Come Holy Spirit: Fill us . . . . . with new hope, . . with greater strength, . . with unconditional love. Amen. Bill Bryant, "a person of faith, a father, a son, a friend, a former minister, Presbyterian Church (USA)," Long Beach, CA Day 31 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Is.43:1b-2 (RSV) Naming God, you have called us by name: lesbian women, gay men, bisexuals, transgender persons, and our families and friends. To remain in your church openly naming ourselves as your people is to struggle upstream; to enter the fiery furnace as we work to bring about justice for all people. May we feel the constant presence of your Spirit in our midst, keeping us wet and warmed rather than overwhelmed by the flow of the status quo or consumed by burnout. Help us recall your promise of redemption when we face our fears and trials on our faith journeys. In the name of your son, and our brother, Christ Jesus, we give thanks that you have called us by name, and written in our hearts that we belong to you always. Amen. Anita C. Hill, Openly Lesbian Member of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's Task Force on Human Sexuality, Saint Paul, MN. Day 32 I always say, the Holy Spirit, she's a crafty old bird. (Self- quote) All merciful, savage God, comforter and nagger, lover and mother, child and dove, be with us, hold us. Send us forth, but not alone. Journey with us. Move and grow, along with us. As we sojourn, celebrating the light, embracing the darkness. Amen. Mark Delany Grotke, "Queer, Episcopalian, lover, therapist, feminist, tree hugger"; Clinical Coordinator/HIV Educator, Gay & Lesbian Resource Center, Santa Barbara, CA. Day 33 Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good works and give glory to God . . . Matt.5:16 (RSV) God, thank you for your continued presence in my life. Help keep me open to you even when I would settle for the comfortable, the familiar, and the ordinary. May the self- imposed limits that hamper my transformation by the light of your spirit be banished within me. God, sometimes it is hard to think of myself as light in the world. The shadows of my past and the dark places of my journey have a way of overwhelming me. Help me to feel the light and to have the generosity of spirit to share it with those in darkness about me. Amen. John R. Simmons, Disciples of Christ "minister of the gospel seeking to journey in the light," Sebastopol, CA. Day 34 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. Rom.8:15 (NRSV) Fear. It separates me from you, God. I guard my fears, telling myself and others how they are justified. While guarding my fears, I allow time to slip in and rob me of your tender gifts: A day of health. The face of my friend. The comfort of touch. Give me one thing more: Infuse me with your Spirit that I may attend to your many gifts. Forgive my fear. Restore me to gratitude. Pat Hoffman, Presbyterian Elder and Author of *Ministry of the Dispossessed* and *AIDS Ministry: A Practical Guide* [to be published by the United Methodist Church], Ventura, CA. Day 35 How much longer will you forget me, Yahweh? For ever? How much longer will you hide your face from me? . . . Let my heart rejoice in your saving help. Ps.13:1 & 5b (JB) (See the entire Psalm in The Psalms for Modern Man, American Bible Society.) The following is intended to be read as a prayer of people with AIDS who suffer the prejudice and arrogance of others, but it may also be read as a prayer of any who similarly suffer. How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever? How much longer will you hide yourself from me? How much longer must I endure pain? How long will sorrow fill my heart day and night? How long will my enemies triumph over me? Look at me, Lord my God, and answer me. Restore my strength, so that I will not die. Then my enemies cannot say: "We have defeated him (her)." Do not let them be glad over my misfortune. But I rely on your constant love; I shall be glad, because you will save me. I will sing to the Lord, because God has been good to me. Richard James, Roman Catholic Priest and University Professor in Rome, Italy. Day 36 Look, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut . . . Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. Rev.3:8,13 (NRSV) Spirit of God, who anointed Christ for his liberating ministry, who opens ears and minds and doors, I pray for all that wonderful diversity of sexual minorities, whom Jesus welcomed into his "upside-down kingdom": not only for gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals -- but also for all single adults and gender-benders, widows and widowers, separated and divorced, unwed mothers and fathers, transvestites and transexuals, polygamists and prostitutes, eunuchs and virgins. Enable our church to fling wide the door, not only to traditional families, but also to see each sexual minority as representing an open door for martyr-witness and solidarity in suffering. And for any who remain in "closets of despair," open our eyes to behold the open door, and grant the courage to "go through that door in Jesus' name." Tom Hanks, Executive Director, Ministerios Multiculturales con Minorias Sexuales, Buenos Aires, Argentina (Tom notes that "Argentine MCC pastor Roberto Gonzalez and I each preached 'missionary' sermons in the USA, using Rev.3:8 as our text. The MCC then chose our theme for the MCC General Conference in 1991, and Marsha Stevens wrote and sang the wonderful conference theme song based on the text. The above prayer now brings the circle around, using some insights from Marsha's songs [in quotes] . . . ") Day 37 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; the first heaven and the first earth had disappeared now. Rev.21:1 (NJB) Spirit: We never expected -- We were unprepared -- We did not even imagine . . . Had we known, we would have been frightened. Had we tried to prepare, we would have failed. And our imagination was too limited. But you led us stumbling, eyes blinking, into -- This indeed is a new path, One never entered in all the history of the universe. The stars and the animals and the trees smile down on us, And we smile back. Thank you, Spirit, For the new creation Which resides deep within our bones, Tingles in our flesh, And makes our world New again. John D. Wrathall, Ph.D. Student, Historian, Writer, Activist, Lutheran; Saint Paul, MN. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Church Rapes Two Lesbians Dyke-bashing, Fag-bashing raised to new heights The high court, the *sanhedrin*, of the Presbyterian Church (Permanent Judicial Commission of the General Assembly) has taken one more step in cementing absolute heterosexist hegemony in the Presbyterian Church, making it more than ever the Presbyterian Church (FHO) (for heterosexuals only) rather than the Presbyterian Church (USA) or a faithful branch of the church of Jesus Christ. If this court had been in charge after the resurrection, the Ethiopian eunuch would never have been baptized. There are clear laws against it in the Old Testament. The gentiles would have been banned until they repented of their birth heritage and swore obedience to all sorts of Old Testament rules and regulations. Despite the clear legislative history and original intent of our current anti-gay policy -- the 1978 General Assembly never intended it to bind the decisions of sessions or presbyteries to ordain[1] -- and the clear provision in that policy, that it "shall not be used to affect negatively the ordination rights of any Presbyterian deacon, elder, or minister who has been ordained prior to this date [1978]," the Permanent Judicial Commission has decreed that Janie Spahr's ordination is no longer valid because she is a lesbian in a committed relationship. Lesbians and gay men, no matter when they were ordained, have no ordination rights unless they hide who they are, or lie, or forswear God's good gift of sexuality and intimate relationships. The "hets only" Presbyterians are keeping this gift very much for themselves. [footnote: 1. Just before the vote on the "definitive guidance" policy at the 1978 General Assembly in San Diego, The Rev. Thomas Gillespie, now president of Princeton Theological Seminary and then chairperson of the General Assembly committee that drafted the policy statement, made the following statement to the commissioners who adopted the 1978 policy statement: "When your son or daughter comes to you and asks for guidance, you should not respond by laying down the law. We propose, therefore, that this General Assembly not exercise its right to render a constitutional interpretation. We propose, rather, that it offer the 'definitive guidance' requested. . . . We believe this recommendation, if adopted, will provide this policy statement with more 'staying power' throughout the church than one which unnecessarily calls into question the constitutional rights of the presbyteries in the ordination process . . . ." (reprinted in *Church & Society at Eighty*, a special edition of *Church and Society*, 80:1, September/October 1989, p. 106-107). End footnote] At the same time, the high court decreed that Lisa Larges, a lesbian, could not be certified as having completed all requirements for ordination, despite the fact that the only ban is on ordination itself, not the certification that a candidate has completed all requirements. They further ordered Twin Cities Presbytery to determine whether or not candidate Lisa Larges "is now a practicing homosexual," opening the way for wide-spread ecclesiastical witch-hunting. On top of this, they decreed that the inclusive ministries of our More Light Churches are illegal in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Not only are all gays and lesbians cast out, but so are all More Light Churches. So we are exceedingly angry. We must now nurture that anger, make it grow and expand until it embraces the entire church. We must be like the prophets of the Old Testament, and like Jesus himself when confronted with the money-changers in the temple. Their modern counterparts are those who fear the loss of members and money if lesbians and gay men are welcomed back into our church (see below!). Money and members are the standard of their gospel. The Convocation of 500 But there is good news, too. Several of us attended the convocation of 500 Presbyterians convened by the General Assembly Council to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit and offer guidance for the church in these difficult times. The 500 convened 143 groups, which drafted recommendations for the church. Of special interest to us is the strong counsel for "ending apartheid for lesbians and gays in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)." An opposing group, called to discuss "holding the church together theologically and financially in the face of gay and lesbian pressure" (those money-changers again!) drew more supporters for an inclusive church than enemies, so no recommendations came from this group. Over and over, participants asked, "where is all the fear coming from?" On the last day of the convocation, most participants joined together to sing a special adaptation of Holly Near's wonderful inclusive anthem, "We are a gentle, loving people; we are gay and straight together; we are a justice loving people; and we are fighting, fighting for our lives." We truly felt that the Holy Spirit is sick and tired of the current hate-filled divisions in this part of the body of Christ. In our February 1993 issue, we plan to publish excerpts from the decision of the high court and also the recommendations from the Convocation of 500 on "ending apartheid for lesbians and gays in the Presbyterian Church (USA)." -- Jim Anderson, proud to be gay and yet again ashamed of his Presbyterian Church. Letter from New York We don't know if the Times actually published this letter, but we will, from Spencer Gibbs, General Presbyter, Presbytery of New York City: To the Editor, New York Times: On Thursday, November 5, you published a major article by Ari Goldman about the Presbyterian Church (USA). I write not to complain about Mr. Goldman's article, which, sad to say, was accurate. Rather I write to express the shock and dismay felt by the Presbytery of New York City at the decision made by the Permanent Judicial commission of our denomination which is the church's highest court in the case of the Rev. Dr. Jane Spahr. This decision has denied the right of any Presbyterian congregation to call as pastor, if it so chooses, an ordained minister who is "out of the closet" as a "self-affirming, practicing homosexual person," even if she or he is living in a monogamous, permanent and loving relationship. The Presbytery of New York City is the ecclesiastical body composed of the 109 Presbyterian churches located within the five boroughs of New York City. We dissent from our court's decision and make that dissent a matter of public record. We express to Lesbian and Gay people everywhere the shame and grief we feel that the sin of homophobia holds our denomination in its grip to such an extent that churches have been instructed to practice discrimination against a whole class of our sisters and brothers who share the Presbyterian faith. These persons, although long ago ordained and so far allowed to continue their present ministries, will never be allowed to be chosen for new positions within our churches. The possibility seems all too real that our homophobia will soon lead to church "witchhunts," trials, and defrockings. If our court can tell us not to employ Lesbian and Gay ministers, will they soon tell us that churches may not hire "sinful" ministers who are pro-choice or "sinful" ministers who are tax- resisters? Or might they even tell our churches not to hire other whole classes of persons, like women or African-Americans to serve as ministers? Once our denomination walks down the road of blatant discrimination against one class of professing Christians, all classes within our denomination stand threatened. I write to pledge to the citizens of New York City and to Lesbians and Gays everywhere that the Presbytery of New York City, and countless other Presbyterians throughout the USA, will immediately undertake to nullify the effect of our court's sinful decision. Signed, Spencer Gibbs, General Presbyter, Presbytery of New York City. [Box: Nurture your anger. Share it with others. Embrace the church with angry love until this hateful exclusion stops. Express yourself. Write to your session and pastor, to your presbytery, to your synod, and to the General Assembly Moderator and Stated Clerk (100 Witherspoon St., Louisville, KY 40202- 1396).]