Date: Mon, 2 Nov 1998 18:38:26 -0500 From: PFLAG Communications Subject: PFLAG Action Alert: Freedom-to-Marry ********************** PFLAG Field Alert Network ********************* Hello everyone - As you know, tomorrow, November 3, people in Hawaii and Alaska will be voting on whether to ratify or reject anti-gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered, anti-marriage constitutional amendments. Powerful opposition in both Hawaii and Alaska, with financial help from religious and right-wing extremists, are pushing those amendments. They are aimed at restricting civil marriage and preventing the courts from addressing discrimination against same-sex couples. Courts in both states have said that the government must show a worthy reason for its harsh discrimination in civil marriage. In Hawaii the historic 1996 trial showed that no such reason exists for denying gay people the freedom to marry; the state's highest court is reviewing the government's appeal in that case. Votes on November 3 and the decision by the Hawaii Supreme Court either will propel our movement forward or turn us toward more challenges in the fight for the freedom to marry. PFLAG is one of the many non-gay and lgbt members of the National Freedom to Marry Coalition. The coaltion is urging local activists and leaders across the country to help galvanize public support for ending discrimination in marriage and organize visibility actions in their communities on Friday, November 6. We are providing the following talking points and suggested action items to help you in your work, whichever way the vote may go, and however you decide is the best way for you to respond. As always, the PFLAG family perspective is a powerful voice that serves as a critical bridge between the straight and lgbt communities. Let us know how we can best serve you in your efforts, and let us know if you are able to take action! Your field staff- Cynthia, Ron, Melisa, Tom and Beth Talking Points If there is a ballot victory ("No" vote) * We are thrilled that voters rebuked anti-gay, anti-marriage rhetoric and refused to re-write their state constitutions to discriminate against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. * Today, the door is open wider to marriage equality. Now, my (g/l/b/t child, sibling, etc) and other same-sex couples are at the threshold of securing the fundamental American right of civil marriage. If there is a ballot defeat ("Yes" vote) * Like members of any other family forced to fight to protect loved ones, we are far from done. No civil rights movement advances without setbacks. Our legal and legislative fights in Hawaii and Alaska continue. This November, the Vermont Supreme Court hears arguments on another strong freedom-to-marry case. No single defeat or victory ends the struggle. * We are deeply disappointed that so many voters were persuaded to write discrimination into their state constitution and create hurdles to ending sex discrimination in civil marriage. After years of testimony and a fair and open trial, the court was on the verge of ruling that the state simply has no good reason to continue the discriminatory and harsh denial of marriage to loving and committed couples willing to take on the responsibility of civil marriage. * It is wrong to deny families the protections, benefits, and responsibilities that come with marriage. These rights include the right to make medical decision for a partner who is gravely ill or the right to care for one another's children, or immigration rights for a partner overseas. General talking points: * If we learned anything from the Wyoming tragedy, it is that all life is precious and no one should be singled out as less worthy than anyone else. Full equality includes equal access to society's most prominent institution for personal relationships and family. The freedom to marry is a basic human right. * Marriage is an intensely personal choice that belongs to the couple in love and not the state. As parents, families and friends of lesbians, gay, bisexual and transgendered people, we want our loved ones to have the option to marry just as we did. * Years of testimony and a fair and open trial have shown that the state has no good reason to continue harsh discrimination in civil marriage. * Only civil marriage provides a vital array of legal protections for a family. For example, only through marriage can people assure their partners' access to social security benefits, plus the right to inherit in the absence of a will, and next-of-kin status for medical decisions. A General Accounting Office study identified 1,049 federal government programs and benefits applying only to married couples. I want my child (loved one) to have the same protections that my spouse and I enjoy. Is it right that these benefits be denied to a whole group of people simply because of who they love? * While many of our g/l/b/t loved ones across America are in loving, committed relationships,they do not have the freedom to share fully and equally in the rights,responsibilities, and commitment of civil marriage. * Same-sex couples in Hawaii may soon be able to legally marry, just like mixed-sex couples can. On the mainland, we need support from our communities-- gay and non-gay -- so that those marriages are also respected. Twenty-nine states have enacted anti-gay, anti-marriage legislation to discriminate against gay people. All of us must speak out against those discriminatory laws and change them. It is un-American to create a second-class system for one group of people. If we win in Hawaii or Alaska, the other 21 states that do not ban g/l/b/t marriages will probably have legislation introduced to ban same-sex marriages. We need to be prepared to fight this. STATES THAT BANNED GAY MARRIAGE Total: 29 Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine , Michigan , Minn , Miss, Missouri , Montana , N.C., N. Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, S. Carolina, S. Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington Action Items: * Join the National Day of Action on November 6. Stand up and speak out with visibility actions and peaceful gatherings to show your support for the freedom to marry. Go to your local city hall and marriage bureau to join non-violent calls for an end to discrimination in civil marriage. Show the media and the public that we must end discrimination nationwide so gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples can make their own decisions about whether to marry. Contact your field manager for details. * Sign on to the Marriage Resolution at http://www.freedomtomarry.org/action/sign_res.html * Have a petition at your chapter meeting for all members to sign. * Write letters and call members of your state legislature in support of freedom to marry. * Monitor state legislation on marriage. Work to repeal bans on lgbt marriage and to prevent new laws from being passed. * Plan a meeting with local editorial boards from area newspapers and television news programs. Talk to them about the importance for your g/l/b/t loved ones to be free to marry. Let them know that your chapter can be a resource. * Write Letters to the Editor or Op-Eds to your local papers. Here are sample letters to the editor: (If a "No" vote -- Victory!) To the Editor: Today, the door is open wider to equality. With the vote in (Hawaii/ Alaska), same-sex couples are at the threshold of securing the fundamental American right of civil marriage. As the (parent, mom, dad, brother, sister, etc) of a (g/l/b/t person) I am thrilled that voters have come down on the side of fairness. Now all loving and responsible couples will have the chance to take on the commitment, legal recognition, benefits and protections granted by civil marriage. I look forward to the day when my (g/l/b/t child) will have the same marriage rights as my heterosexual children. My daughter and her partner have been together for 12 years -- their relationship is no less valid in my eyes than my own marriage, and it deserves the same legal recognition that my own marriage receives. (Or some other personal story) Our state now has the opportunity to join Hawaii and/or Alaska in extending the right of marriage to all our citizens regardless of who they love. Contact your local PFLAG chapter (provide info here) to get more information and learn how you can help. Sincerely, Sample Letter to the Editor (if "Yes" vote) To the Editor: I am the (mother/father/sister/brother/etc) of a (lgbt person), and I am deeply disappointed that so many voters were persuaded to write discrimination into their state constitution and create hurdles to ending discrimination in civil marriage. The decision of whether and whom to marry is a highly personal choice, and the government should not interfere with same-sex couples who choose to marry. It is wrong to deny families the protections, benefits and responsibilities that come with marriage, including the right to make medical decisions for a partner who is gravely ill or the right to care for one another's children. As a (mother) of a (g/l/b/t child) I want the same rights for my (g/l/b/t child) as I do for my heterosexual children. If we learned anything from the Wyoming tragedy, it is that all life is precious and no one should be singled out as less worthy than anyone else. It is un-American to create a second-class system for one group of people. I don't want my (child's) rights sacrificed because of the hatred of close-minded people. Whatever the temporary setback from this decision, fair-minded Americans will not surrender in our struggle for the freedom to marry. To join the fight, contact our PFLAG chapter... Sincerely, xxx