Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 19:09:40 -0700 From: Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Subject: GLAADAlert July 30, 1998 00FF,00FF,00FFGLAADALERTTimes-Ju= ly 30, 1998Times00FF,00FF,00FF The GLAADAlert is the weekly activation tool of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against DefamationTimes GLAADAlert Index: 1) Today and Lauer Laud Gay Youth and their Families 2) Not What They Said But What They Didn't Say 3) The Smooch of Success 4) Loud, Yes; Effective, No 5) Boston Globe tells of Life in-and out-of the Latino Closet 6) Oh Dear, Abby! 7) Custody Editorial Is Controversial, Tough-and Closely Reasoned 1) Today and Lauer Laud Gay Youth and their Families On Wednesday, July 22, NBC's Today interviewed 16-year-old Will Allen and his parents about Will's coming out and the effect it had upon the dynamics of the family's relationship. Today co-host Matt Lauer opens by saying, "At an age when a lot of teenagers are just starting to think about dating and are becoming curious about members of the opposite sex, [then-] 14-year-old Will Allen had something very important he wanted to tell his parents. He told them he's gay. For many parents," Lauer continues, "such news can be shocking, emotional and very difficult to come to terms with. But for the Allens, it was also an opportunity to get even closer to their son." Lauer says the Allens "live in Oklahoma, in a fairly religious, conservative community" but Will had "seen them interact with relatives that were gay, and had seen them interact with [his] uncle, who had AIDS." Will, therefore had been "very comfortable with telling them." Lauer asks Will, "What's the difference in going to dad about the subject of homosexuality and mom? I mean, a lot of dads have certain expectations for their son." Will replies that his own father "was very laid back, very nonchalant...[and] had a great response." Even before he came out, though, Will's mother Jan wrote to him at camp, worried that he was having a hard time, and told him "how much I love him, how proud I am of him, and that nothing he could tell me would change that." Will's mother said she was relieved when he came out. "In a sense, it was like a gift. He trusted me that much that he could actually tell me something so personal." But she also speaks of her fear that Will would face harassment and her concerns regarding reports of a high incidence of substance abuse among gay men. Lauer then asked Will's father, Sam, about his first reaction. "I had lost a brother two years earlier to AIDS ... from where I was sitting, I just had ... a 14-year-old son that I'd loved, and all he had done was ... summoned the courage to confide a truth." Psychologist Dr. Douglas Haldeman provides advice for parents on how best to support their kids: through information and getting support themselves. Of the Allens, he tells Lauer: "This is clearly an exemplary family." Katie Couric echoes that sentiment at the end of the program, saying, "What a great example for other families." Lauer replies, "Imagine the difference for a 14-year-old who turns to his parents and gets a cold reaction as opposed to that warm embrace and acceptance." Please thank Today for this engaging, informative and resoundingly positive look at the supportive fashion in which one mother and father received the news that their son is gay. In addition, please thank Lauer for his questions, which were on point, intelligent and sensitive, and for showing so effectively that there are indeed families who embrace and celebrate their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children. Contact: Matt Lauer, Co-Host, and Linda Finnell, Supervising Producer, The Today Show, 30 Rockerfeller Plaza, #380E, New York, NY 10112-0002 2) Not What They Said But What They Didn't Say A July 26 report by The Associated Press (AP) on Washington state congressional candidate Margarethe Cammermeyer focuses on her sexual orientation and makes only peripheral reference to other attributes she may bring to the campaign. The headline reads, "Decorated Lesbian Runs for Congress." The story, which identifies Cammermeyer as the Democratic primary front-runner, says, "On the campaign trail, she doesn't talk homosexual rights." At a recent event, says reporter David Ammons, "Cammermeyer spoke about education, health care, the environment and countering a Republican Congress she considers radical and heartless." He also quotes her as saying, "I'm an everyday person who has a health-care background and an education background. I am a mother, a grandmother and served in Vietnam." With the exception of those sentences, however, Cammermeyer's sexual orientation is the only topic covered in the 23-paragraph piece. In addition, the AP incorrectly identifies the Victory Fund as "a Washington, D.C., group that backs homosexuals for public office." instead of a national, Washington-based agency which contributes to the campaigns of selected candidates of any sexual orientation. It ends by noting that one of Cammermeyer's primary opponents "mailed a fund-raising letter saying her campaign is being underwritten by the national homosexual movement." Please let the AP know that its chosen headline serves to ghettoize and make one-dimensional a candidate of considerable, diverse and well-documented accomplishments. Tell the wire service that its focus on Cammermeyer's sexual orientation is of far less import than the opportunity it missed: to acquaint voters with her position on issues that could impact their lives for decades. Contact: Julia Rubin, News Editor, Associated Press, 50 Rockerfeller Plaza, 4th Floor, New York, NY 10020-1666, fax: 212.621.7520 3) The Smooch of Success Already a sold-out favorite in Los Angeles, New York and San Francisco, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss is quickly becoming the gay-themed independent movie of the summer. The film stars Sean P. Hayes (from the upcoming NBC comedy Will & Grace) as Billy, an aspiring LA photographer who falls head over heels for his new model, Gabriel (Brad Rowe). The two get along glowingly, with only one small glitch:, Billy is not sure if Gabriel is straight or gay. The movie deals touchingly with unrequited love, and the intricacies of coming out as the film's characters search for companionship and love. On August 7, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss will open in an additional 18 cities nationwide, including Boston, Houston, Miami and Seattle.=20 =46urther cities will follow throughout August and September. For more information on the film's release, visit http://www.billyskiss.com . Check out Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, then tell Trimark Pictures what you think. Contact: Trimark Pictures, 2644 30th Street, Santa Monica, CA 90405-3009, fax: 310.392.0252 4) Loud, Yes; Effective, No According to an article from July 22 issue of the congressional weekly newspaper, The Hill, both Republicans and Democrats say sexual orientation likely will not be a major issue in this fall's campaigns, despite a number of recent conservative attacks against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Among those attacks: the launch of a $200,000 ad campaign by religious political extremist groups and "ex-gay" ministries, pejorative comments made by Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R-Miss., and supported by House Majority Leader Dick Armey, R-Texas, the passage of one anti-gay amendment and the proposal of another, and a campaign against confirming openly gay James Hormel as ambassador to Luxembourg. New Jersey Rep. Marge Roukema, a moderate Republican, said, "I really have not heard from constituents except for the Christian Coalition constituency. ... Other than that, I have no evidence of it resonating one way or the other." The Hill also quotes Rep. Tom Coburn , R-Okla., "one of the most conservative members of the House" who said that "speaking 'harshly' of homosexuality 'turns people off.'" Near the other end of the political spectrum, the newspaper says, Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., contends that the cluster of measures opposing gay civil rights actually could help Democrats this fall: "As it turns out we're not as unpopular as we used to be." The analysis also quotes Olivia Morgan, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee spokesperson, as saying, "They're doing our work for us. The more the Republicans abandon a mainstream agenda in favor of energizing the extreme right-wingers of their party, the more they alienate the middle-of-the-road voters who will turn to the Democrats." Please thank The Hill for this analytical piece on the longer-term political effects of conservative attacks on the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Contact: Adam Hickey and A.B. Stoddard, The Hill, 733 Fifteenth Street, NW, Suite 1140 Washington, D.C., e-mail: jyngling@hillnews.com 5) Boston Globe tells of Life in-and out-of the Latino Closet "When Raymond Pifferrer, 31, of Boston told his father he was gay, the Cuban-born janitor threw his son, then 16, through a glass window," Alisa Valdes writes in the July 23 Boston Globe. "To be Latino and homosexual in Massachusetts can be particularly difficult," says the article, "as demonstrated in May when Latino parents in Lawrence organized to bus more than 100 children out of state for a day rather than have them witness a gay pride parade." The article cites research indicating homophobia is prevalent but not universal in many U.S. Latino communities. "Difficulties are often amplified by the cultural norm of personalismo, a strong emphasis on maintaining smooth social relations at any cost-even if that requires telling half-truths, remaining silent about problems, or lying about sexual orientation." As for lesbians, the piece said that , in Latino/a culture, they "officially" don't exist. The article tells of a 50-year-old Boston lesbian who says she did not come out until she was 29 because she never had a name for what she was. Raised in Cuba, she said, "I knew no lesbians growing up. You never heard about it." The article also discusses how the concept of "machismo" particularly affects the Latino/a lesbian and gay community. Trying to illustrate the correlation between machismo and homophobia, Matthew Florence, director of Men of Color Against AIDS in Boston, explains, "Gay men are hated or mocked not because they choose to love other men. Rather, it is simply because they have voluntarily given up the power that goes along with being a man, and have by choice relegated themselves to the subservient role of woman." The piece is unusual for its thorough exploration of the implications of being a lesbian or gay person of color. It deals sensitively with issues of ethnicity, sexual orientation and regionalism in a down-to-earth manner.. Please thank the Boston Globe for such a finely-drawn and well-detailed examination of the cultural factors that challenge and reward life in the U.S. for Latino/a lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender persons. Contact: Gregory L. Moore, Managing Editor, Boston Globe, 135 Morrissey Blvd., Dorchester, MA 02125-3338, fax: 617.929.2098, e-mail: letters@globe.com 6) Oh Dear, Abby! The original version of a letter in Abigail Van Buren's nationally syndicated advice column Dear Abby reads, "Laws against domestic violence should focus on the abuser, whoever the abuser is-male or female, straight or gay, rich or poor." Here's the edited version from the July 24 Philadelphia Daily News: "Laws against domestic violence should focus on the abuser, whoever the abuser is." In her original reply, Van Buren writes: "After reading your letter, I would concur that the laws should be amended so that all batterers, regardless of gender, should be liable for their actions." The Daily News version removes her mention of gender. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs Report on Same Gender Domestic Violence, issued Oct. 6, 1997, states that the coalition's=20 review of recent national studies found that domestic violence occurs at the same rate in same-gender as in opposite-gender relationships-but that same-gender victims are even less likely to seek help because they are unaware that their relationships also can be subject to domestic violence. The Philadelphia Daily News editorial deletions are particularly disturbing, therefore, because they act to perpetuate the invisibility of this chronic problem. Please let the Philadelphia Daily News know that its less than thoughtful editing has reinforced a significant problem in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community instead of helping to ease it. Also, please thank Abigail Van Buren for her sensitive reply. Contact:=20 Symbol=85 TimesDeborah Licklider, =46eatures Department Editor, Philidelphia Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philidelphia, PA 19130-4015, fax: 215.854.5852, e-mail: dailynews.opinion@phillynews.com Symbol=85 TimesAbigail Van Buren, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 7) Custody Editorial Is Controversial, Tough-and Closely Reasoned An editorial in the July 22 Home News Tribune in East Brunswick, N.J., tells that State Superior Court Judge Katherine Dupuis is expected to decide next month whether she will unseal the file on a custody battle between two lesbians, granting public and media access to the case. . "Given the desire of some gay people to retain privacy in a still-discriminatory culture," the editorial states, "Dupuis has a tough decision." It references New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition director Gina Reiss, who argues that if the case is unsealed, lesbian or gay parents might be scared out of seeking custody or visitation rights for fear of being 'outed' in a public court. Reiss also says, "people should have their privacy protected because of discrimination," to which the paper responds: "Here is where the media can play a key role. Just as many newspapers-including the Home News Tribune-protect rape victims' privacy by not publishing their names, it's not an unreasonable practice for news organizations to identify the parents in these cases by their initials only." But the judge "must open the case and treat the proceedings no differently than a custody trial between estranged heterosexual partners," the newspaper concludes. "By banning gay marriages, state lawmakers ignore the reality that two people of the same gender can form committed relationships, which sometimes include children. It's a sign of progress that the courts are beginning to recognize that both partners are the parents. Biology doesn't determine if someone is a parent. In children's eyes, parents are the people who perform the innumerable daily tasks that nurture them into adulthood. To seal the proceedings of a public court from public view is to give gay parents a privilege their heterosexual colleagues don't enjoy. It also continues the marginalization of gay families."=20 As is acknowledged in the editorial itself, the Home News Tribune espouses a controversial position with which some lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender persons disagree. However, the newspaper does a fair job of presenting both sides of the argument-and explains the reasoning that underlies its position. Please thank the Home News Tribune for its closely reasoned editorial. Contact: Barbara Frankel, Editorial Page Director, Home News & Tribune, 35 Kennedy Blvd., East Brunswick, NJ 08816-1250, fax: 732.937.6046, e-mail: bfrankel@thnt.com The GLAADAlert is the weekly activation tool of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.=20 GLAAD promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation in the media as a means of=20 challenging homophobia and all forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. Contact GLAAD by e-mail at glaad@glaad.org or by phone at 213.658.6775 (LA), 212.807.1700 (NY), 415.861.2244 (San Francisco), 202.986.1360 (DC), 404.876.1398 (Atlanta) and 816.756.5991 (Kansas City) =46eel free to pass GLAADAlert on to friends, family and associates! 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