Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 22:18:59 -1000 From: Mia H H Lam Subject: Lesbian Dating 101 (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 22:06:31 -1000 From: Bonnie L. Chappell Subject: Lesbian Dating 101 From: Carol Cohen LESBIAN DATING 101 Do I bring them flowers? Or is romance passe? Do I call the next day, or will that scare them away? If I hold the car door, is that acting like a man? This lesbian protocol is something I don't understand! Are you butch or are you femme? Are you a bottom or a top? If I try to touch you, will you scream & call a cop? Are you into S&M? What do you think is fun? Oh, I wish there was a course -- Lesbian Dating 101. Things sure have changed since I was last in circulation- There's lots of talk of toys these days and creative masturbation. I remember when to talk of sex was not something one did -- Guess I missed the revolution-- I'm back to feelin' like a kid! There are girls who were once boys - now that's really not my thing. There's so much body piercing - and I had trouble with nose rings! There's stone butch, and soft butch & butch just in the sheets And I'm not sure just where I fit, 'cause they've all got me beat! If I take a girl to dinner, who picks up the check? Do we kiss or just shake hands? This is makin' me a wreck! If I ever get past first base and one thing leads into another, Does that mean I have to marry her or rush to meet her mother?! Can I have a little fun without them movin' in? ' Cause that's a movie I saw once and don't plan to see again! Well, I got myself a tattoo now & a supply of toys. I figured out how I can tell the ladies from the boys. I also figure that I'm a butch, though I still don't know which kind - Now, if I could only find a woman who wants my body and my mind! Are you a hardcore feminist or a leather dyke? If I light a cigarette will you say to take a hike? Are you a lipstick lesbian or an old-fashioned femme? Do you think I'm one of you - or am I one of them?! I didn't know this would be so hard, it's got me on the run-- Won't someone give a class: Lesbian Dating 101?!