Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 21:56:27 -0800 (PST) From: Tom498374@aol.com Subject: Living Together http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Library/1049/index.htm -------------------- What is Your Opinion About Homosexuality ? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Committed Affection The Gay & Lesbian Handbook on Living Together as a Same-Sex Couple 1997 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Same sex partnerships have always been and will always be. This is normal. The sociological research has however for the first time in many years described same-sex partnerships (SSPS) in detail from lesbian and gay couples. The previous social report "Committed Affection" concerns itself with being a book-of-facts on the social dimensions of feeling, love and same-sex couples in areas of family, politics, love and work-life, media and extended societal reports: i.e. gay-lesbian family politics, state marriage and church commitments in addition to marketing and commercials for lesbian and gay couples respectively. It is a handbook for all desiring further study of same-sex couples. First in such a book's area of concentration would be a collective review of currently asked questions from the mentioned arenas, and clarification of perspectives such as how same- sex couples can set aside self-judgment and self-determinedly relate their life, love and future with their parents, families, and friends. >From the contents: *Coming-out of youths *How one presents the friend to parents and in-laws *Marriage and family politics for same-sex couples and their children *Development of a useful gay theology *Sexuality as a social construct *For homosexuals the private is political; Politics fro same-sex couples in the German republic *Homo-sexuality is a whole and the heterosexual equivalent mirrors personable sexual relations *Social reports on lesbians, gays and heterosexual equivalents thereof in long-term marriage equal partnerships *Direct communication; Let's talk about the condom and safer sex *"SSPS" as an economical factor; Marketing for gays and lesbians *Identity as a presentation to your self *Religious marriage and committal with matrimonial blessings from homosexual couples *Lesbian, gay and same-sex couples as topics in school *devotion in partner relations; The majority of gays live and cohabitate with one constant friend: 38% lead their relationships for as many as even ten years exactly as a marriage. *Current bibliography (Bar managers, Internet lists, further extending literatures...) Introduction: "Your senses in sand..." - One can peacefully call things by name; It has to do with love in same-sex partnerships (SSPS). "Hey, by the way our son now has a constant friend", - such or similar rings out the sentence from the mother telling relatives or friends about her son's same-sex partnership. A difficult sentence for the parents? At least maybe, when we discover that a person is homosexual, we are at least somewhat surprised. We don't yet know how we should continue or react. The aforementioned handbook "Committed Affection" wants then to invite its readers to find-out more about gay, lesbian and same-sex marriages. It is an understandably written reference exploring scientifically the expressions met here as well. Same-sex partnerships have always been and will always be. Many, many men love men. According to Alfred Kinsey 13% of the population is homosexual and 37% of the men are bisexual; only every other man lives as an exclusive heterosexual. In order to come to this scientific conclusion one does not have to be dependent on Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis. According to Sigmund Freud all people are capable of same-sex selectivity; every person is thus bisexual. What Kinsey defined in his time would since then be supported by other researchers in other countries during the years to follow. Same-sex love has played meaningful roles in human cohabitation since the origin of history, not only in the culture of ancient Greece was it far-spread. Homo-sexuality is not only therefore an expected topic in the historical course of time and empirical/ statistical research, yet particularly also suiting for lesbians and gays - who's sexual orientation is not altered, rather only lived-out. Homosexuality is not only normal for them, yet for the society as well. Uneasiness is sensed concerning being queer, and lesbian respectively. It is only that the one is less known of. Hence this book establishes information concerning the life of same-sex partnerships. Same-sex love is lived-out by many couples, and will continue to be lived-out by many same-sex oriented people. A same-sex orientation is natural, and a part of God's creation. So it is the pervasive question - will we the people accept God's intended creation or not; lesbians and gays have a right to affection which under God's law no religion can allow prejudice against without reducing God and his works to deceptions. "God looked upon all that he had made, and it was very good " (Gen 1.31). Homo-sexuality is one of the heterosexual equivalents as a role in human sexuality. According to intensive compilations of research it remains that there is no qualitative difference between a same-sex and opposite-sex couple. The question of whether homo- sexuality is inborn or not presents itself hardly before the question of whether heterosexuality in today's research. It has been a turn-around of interest that one wants to investigate how gays and lesbians live and love in same-sex partnerships. The every-day relations in the social life are of interest. The sexual aspect is therefore not the main concern of this book. It is concerned with the social dimensions of same-sex partnerships; how does a gay or lesbian couple deal with their love in every-day life, how do they relate their coming-out to their parents and in- laws, at school, with friends, at work. Why do same-sex couples want to marry or have a religious marriage at all ? How would gays and lesbians presented in TV commercials in past years advertise to gay or lesbian couples ? Today same-sex living arrangements are conscientiously recognized. Although not only the entertainment industry interests itself in the social dimensions of living together as a same-sex couple, yet particularly also sociological research continues with an inclusive report on current states in the living arrangements in the different social matters: marriage, family, partnership, religion, etc... Structured upon a continual investigation results of such social research will be viewed with a second-analysis, weighted and compiled according to the most important comments from gays, lesbians and similar relations. So much of that which was known only to a handful of people will now be made public on understandable grounds : Who and what are lesbians and gays by the way? How is their love recognized ? How do they arrange their life together? Which pictures does entertainment portray and what view do they have of themselves? We often hear how it is reported that the gay and lesbian movement is integrated into media as well as film and television with respect to state marriage and religious devotions through marketing and commercials. This gay-lesbian handbook is not only intended to be a guide for questions in the personal relations of same-sex love (i.e. for parents of gay youths), yet also for the current situations of gay and lesbian related social integration and at least further information. This forth-coming book is also not provocative. It is an understandable presentation of same-sex living arrangements in the current time-frame, based on the grounds of continual findings. It does not concern itself in any manner with themes of emancipation. Much more is related through the humanitarian science's exactly recorded factual results and perspectives publicly presented. Such as is to be seen in the status of integration of same- sex living arrangements at the end of the 20th century. The volume counts therefore not only as a fact-book on lesbians, gays and living arrangements with their children, yet also for the parents and in-laws of a lesbian daughter of gay son. Also as a public subject-guide in which teachers, journalists, politicians etc. can find recommended readings for further subject information in each chapter. The following areas in particular will be of related future interest, here are further research needs: * Marriage and family politics fro same-sex partnerships ( particularly marriage and adoption, as with custody of children) *Youth related clarifications ( youth work concepts, gay- lesbian education concepts / school reform, furtherment of youth coming-out groups, sexuality fads - especially a guiding clarification for heterosexual youths of the same-sex relationship) *Development of a new concept in church teachings as orientational help ( religious betrothement as the public statement of a secured relationship). *Perspectives of cooperation between lesbians and gays ( i.e. communication centers, collective gay-lesbian parties as in the political structures of women's emancipation - communal gay-lesbian statement of intentions) *Incorporation into media of same-sex relationships *Commercials and marketing for same-sex couples; portraits of happy gay-lesbian couples, in the everyday life and social liberation through integration of positive public works. *Options in the use of Internet development, not only for information, yet also to meet friends. *Cognitive process in the identity and the potential of support from parents and growing family ( coming-out inside and the family coming-to-terms strategies with loneliness, otherness, isolation and *Inability to find the right partner / cognitive orientation aside and the option of personal family growth; merging of gayness and having children / motivational development at the end of a same-sex relation *Communicational aspects of affection ( i.e. the subject matter of the need for condom usage / working through a relation with an adulterer and/ or untrue partner). In the future it will deal with same-sex relationships in subjects of the mentioned areas. It deals with the issues of "integration" not of "discrimination". Visionary perspectives are more important than the previous over-used enduring cliche's. That which for example the media portrays of same-sex relationships and couples- in their social dimensions- and that which has less to do with sexuality; Dieter and Detlef cooking, at church service, on the job and at the marketplace. Oct. 1, 1996 * * The first of October is considered every year to be the family day for (gay and lesbian) same-sex relationships. This symbolic celebration once per year represents the numerous maritaly committed gay and lesbian couples as well as established families with their own, adopted or otherwise cared-for children of same-sex relationships. The family holiday goes back to Oct. 1, 1989, when homosexuals could for the first time state-legitimize their relationship in a country. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taken from: F R A N K, A N D R E A S: Committed Affection - The Gay - Lesbian Handbook on Living Together as a Same-Sex Couple; A reference reader for public research into the social dimensions of feelings, love, identity, partnership, family, church, marriage, and homosexuality. (C) Internet-Version Stuttgart 1997. URL: http://www.gaynet.de/kultur/zart/ezi.htm / OR: http://www.uni-karlsruhe.de/~schwung/texte/zart/ezi.htm ----------------------------------------------------------------------------